


After the Fall

by Doctorinblue



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Alternate Universe - Doctor Who, Family, Introspection, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-28
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-01-10 07:38:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 31,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1156901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doctorinblue/pseuds/Doctorinblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When his planet had burned, the Doctor thought he had nothing left. He was wrong. When two children are dropped into his world, with the claim that he is their father, he must learn to live again. For them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The first time his hearts were broken, he was a small boy. He was much too small, to understand how big love could really be, and how much it often cost. Looking back, it was a minor heartbreak, that of a childhood friend, moving far away.

He had shed his tears, up on an empty hill, while a cold wind whipped around him. Back then, his mother had come for him. She had scooped him up into her arms, and let him sob against her until he felt whole again.

But that was a long time ago, and a place he could never return. That little hill was lifetimes, and bodies away. Burnt now, along with everything else he had ever known.

The Doctor slammed the spanner down against the console, and she let out a noise of anger. He sighed, and ran a hand down his face.

This was the cost of saving everyone, being alive. Surviving when death would have been a gift he would have welcomed, one he would have embraced like an old friend.

Now he was too much of a coward to end it himself, despite the bottles he’d held with shaky hands, and despite the plans he made that he couldn’t follow through. Something was keeping him here, working against him, or maybe for him. He was half mad these days, hadn’t left the TARDIS since it happened.

Food should be running out, but he hadn’t been eating. A just bite here and there, sleep was long blinks. He needed to shower, to shave. He needed to really eat, and really sleep, and maybe see the sun again. But more than anything, he needed to fix the TARDIS, so he could get off the damn planet.

He hadn’t wanted to land here, or anywhere. The TARDIS was acting up, and he had assumed she was just pouting because he‘d been screaming at her a lot lately. Now she refused to move, sitting in a field, on a planet he hadn’t planned to ever return to.

The Doctor hadn’t been able to locate the problem, wasn’t sure there was one. She might simply be mad at him; she’d done it before, after all. But he kept looking, because he didn’t know what else to do. At least if he pretended he was doing something, he wouldn’t have to go outside. He couldn’t bare facing anyone, letting anyone see him for fear they might see right through him.

Words could break him now, were likely to break him now. It’s the reason he was still alone- well, one of the reasons he was still alone. He could have sought out a companion, but even the dimmest one he could find would know he was the farthest from okay that he had ever been.

He pulled up the grating, and slid down into it once more. Outside he could hear rain, pouring for hours now. He shivered, despite the fact that he was quite warm, and began to pull off a cover.

The first knock was soft, and he was able to brush it off as nothing. He couldn’t imagine who would be knocking on his door, especially in the middle of a field, in the middle of the night.

The second was louder, and the third louder still. He sighed, pulling himself out, and wiping his hands off. He stared at the door for a moment, before finally shuffling over. There was no reason to answer this. He could simply leave it, let the probably curious stranger go on thinking it was just a silly empty box, in the middle of nowhere. It’s what he should do, but something from beyond those doors called out to him.

He opened it, and poked his head out.

Rain ran down his face, cold and heavy. It seemed thick and determined to soak beyond his skin, to get the chill it carried all the way into his bones.

“I’m busy in here,” he said, turning until he saw an older man, holding two small children.

The three of them were shivering; the man looked so weak he could barely hold his precious load any longer. The children lacked jackets, and shoes, bare skin exposed to the elements. The Doctor wanted to be angry, until he saw the state of the older man. He too had bare feet, diluted blood could barely be seen by the Doctor as it gathered around the man’s exposed feet.

Wherever they had come from, it had been quite a walk. They were all pale, and exhausted, and this wasn’t a mistake. This man hadn’t stumbled upon him, he had set out to find him. The Doctor just wasn’t sure why, not yet.

“C…can we come in?” the older man stuttered out.

The words cost him, the sag in his shoulder more pronounced now that he had said them. Or perhaps it was relief, because the Doctor somehow understood that this was a journey coming a close.

He might be a lot of things, but he wasn’t evil. He swung the door open, moving back so they could enter.

There was no hesitation, the man slipping past him, and depositing the kids on the ramp. They didn’t react, other than to reach out, wrapping tiny arms around each other to keep warm.

He looked down at them. There was one boy, one girl. Blond hair on both, the boys straight, where the curls curled up tightly. They looked to be about two, maybe more or less, but close to that. Tiny compared to him, tinier compared to the room. They were holding each other so tightly, he wasn’t sure how they were able to breathe, little toes curled up against the ramp, trying to keep warm.

He looked at the man now, racked with a coughing fit. His mind was screaming at him, medical needs and fixes flashing behind his eyes. He needed to get them warm, examined. He needed to spring into action, but shock had paralyzed him.

“They-“ the man wheezed out when the coughing paused. “Are yours.”

The Doctor looked down again, then up at the ceiling.

“That’s impossible,” he said, though he was quite sure it wasn’t. “And why the hell don’t they have shoes, or jackets?”

 

“No…more,” the man wheezed.

The Doctor shook her head, scooping up the both of them. Their skin was ice beneath his palms, and he was worried they were going to freeze to death before his eyes. He sat the kids on the jump seat, and hurried off down the hall. The med bay had warm blankets, always, even when he didn’t have a companion to offer them to.

He pulled three of them out, and hurried back. He tossed on at the man, who caught it and fumbled to unfold it. The Doctor took the other, wrapping it around the kids, who refused to let each other go. He tilted their heads up, so he could check them over. Their eyes were both bright, though they had circles under them that he didn’t like.

The boys were crystal blue, the girls green and a mossy color. They both had a blue tint around their lips, they he hoped was only cold. A cough racked through the man again, and he looked over.

“What do you have?!” he asked, rubbing the blankets over the twin’s skin, trying desperately to warm them. “Are they sick?! Why are you here?!”

The man coughed again.

“Dying…I’m afraid,” he rasped out. “But they aren’t sick…can’t get it….got vaccinated. All the money gone…”

He sagged against the railing, and the Doctor fumbled for words. Finally he reached out, grabbing his stethoscope, and pushing it into his ears. The twins said nothing, as he listened to first one heart beat, and then the other. They both had two hearts inside their tiny chest.

Adinites…the species of this planet, only had one. And he knew that this wasn’t such an impossible thing. He had been here before, some time back. A different body, a desperate night. He’d met a girl, Lane, she had been beautiful and kind, and receptive.

A simple scan would be all it would take to prove they were his, but he didn’t need it. He could tell, could see it clearly. But that didn’t change the fact that he wasn’t going to take them, couldn’t take them.

“I don’t know what you want from me,” he said, pulling them back into his arms. “But I don’t live a life fit for kids, take them back to their mum….they can have the blankets….I’ll even give you a ride.”

“Lane died a cycle ago,” the man said, coughing again. He wiped blood off his lip. “I don’t have long…our world is dying. Most kids…shipped off…distant relatives. Only the rich got vaccinated…and the children. I was neither. They’ll be alone when I’m gone. Soon…everyone will be gone. They have no one….but you.”

He looked down at them. A weight in his arms, he hadn’t felt in so many years. And he realized that for the time they’d been there, he hadn’t been in agony. He’d been distracted, putting them before him. He couldn’t let them go out there to die, couldn’t send his children —even if they were unplanned- to a world on their own. They wouldn’t make it.

“Let me try to help you,” he said after a moment. “You can all stay. I might be able to cure you.”

“I’ve lived long enough,” he said. “But you could take me home. I’d like to see it one last time.”

The Doctor nodded, and settled them onto the jump seat again. He carefully flew the TARDIS, moving now as he knew she would. He knew that he should argue, but he could see the exhaustion in his face. He might be able to cure him, could probably find him someone that could, but he wasn’t going to argue.

Even if he should.

“What are their names?” he asked, as the man walked to the door slowly.

“The girl is Shy…the boy is Gav,” he said, coughing roughly. “Take care of them, it was Lane’s last request.”

He coughed again, and slipped out of the doors. The Doctor watched for a moment, but he didn’t return. He took a slow breath, and tried to reel in his thoughts. He’d gone from alone in the universe, to a father of two, in a very short while.

He counted slowly, to five- a number he’d always enjoyed. And then turned and looked at them. They were looking up, the shivering less than before. He came over, and gathered them up, before heading back to the med bay. Clothes were on the counter, boys and girls, folded and waiting.

He undressed them each, and then redressed them, giving them a check up. They were both healthy, despite the chill, and warming quickly now.

“Shy?” he said to the girl, when they were both dressed in warm pajamas. She nodded and rubbed at her eyes.

“’ats me,” she said.

“And Gav,” the Doctor said, to the boy. He nodded, but didn’t speak.

They were both ready for bed, he could see it in their eyes. He picked them up, carrying them down the hall. He opened the door next to his, and was relieved to find it filled with supplies. There were two little beds, with side rails. They were matching with a comforter of some cartoon bear. He went over, putting a child in each, and covering them up. He searched the shelves, until he found two stuffed dogs, and brought them over. They each snatched it from him, and curled up in their beds.

The ceiling had fake stars, and the TARDIS hum filled the mostly dark room. Their breathing evened out, almost at once, and he stared down at them.

He didn’t know if he knew how to be a father anymore. He wasn’t sure that he wasn’t going to make a complete mess of them, but he was going to do his best. He had long since given up on living for himself, but he could live for them. When the waves threaten to overtake him, he could keep afloat, because two people needed him now.

The Doctor carefully slipped out of the room, and back to his. He shed his clothes, and dug out new ones.

The shower was hot against his skin, and he let it burn away the months he’d neglected himself. When he finally deemed himself clean, he stepped out, and went to shave. He wiped the steam from the mirror and started at his face. He hadn’t looked, hadn’t cared, but now he did.

His ears and nose were large, but his eyes were bright, like his sons. He shaved off the beard, and looked again. If nothing else, at least he was faking his way to a new start.

He shuffled out of the room, ignoring the growl his stomach produced. It was hard to focus, and his bed looked more inviting then it had in ages. He dressed, and went to their room once more. Shy had crawled into her brother’s bed, and they were holding each other and the dogs. But they were still asleep, and he retreated to his room once more. He was asleep, the moment he hit the pillow.


	2. Chapter 2

He finally slept, deeply.

The Doctor slept so deeply, that the dreams couldn’t find him where he was hiding. He need hours more, days more, but time didn’t wait for him to wake. Instead, he found himself being touched, by four small hands, warm and sticky against his cheeks. A finger slid across his nose, smelling vaguely of grape jam and another jabbed at his eye, trying to pull his eye lid up and peer inside. 

He let out an internal groan, trying to pull himself up out of the blanket of his rest.

“’s not wake,” the boy whispered.

He struggled, managing to pull his eyes open at last. The room was bright, and he was being stared at by the twins. For a brief, agonizing moments, names that didn’t belong to them filled him up to the point he thought he’d burst. He wasn’t sure what he was thinking, taking on such a daunting task after his world had crashed around him.

Reality was now offering out its hand, as though they hadn’t been on fighting terms for such a long time.

He swallowed hard, hands clenched in the bed sheets, while four bright eyes waited for him to find himself again.

He had avoided his real life, as much as possible. Tinkered until the TARDIS was angry, and his brain was no numb he could almost breathe. He’d been drowning in a storm of constant regret, as it swept him off his feet time after time.

But they were waiting, waiting for him to sit up, and be a man. Be their father, so he did. Slowly, he released his grip on the sheets, his fingers aching as the blood rush back in. He pulled himself up, and looked them over. They were both shirtless, covered in the jam they smelled of, and smiling at him widely.

He turned his head, looking at his nightstand. They had bared a corner that was now filled with a plate. There were overly runny eggs, and toast that only barely resembled itself, blackened all the way.

He was filled with a sudden rage, with the TARDIS, with them, with himself. How had they come upon the kitchen? And didn’t they understand they were much too young to be that close to a stove. Sure, they were smart, more so then their age, but they were tiny, and vulnerable, and it made him scared.

And in this body, fear often came out as anger. He reached out, grabbing their hands and pulling them closer quickly. They both let out a nervous squeak, but didn’t struggle as he looked them over for burns or cuts.

When he was satisfied that the food was the only thing that had suffered he released them. They both scooted back, almost exactly in the same motions, watching him with tears in their eyes.

“You can’t use the stove!” he said, trying to keep his voice from shaking. “It’s off limits; just don’t even go into the kitchen without me.”

Shy blinked, the tears breaking over her lower lid, and Gav quickly sat up straighter. He pulled his sister into a tight hug, sticky arms doing what the Doctor ought to be himself.

The Doctor sighed, running a hand over his face. It’d been too long since he’d been a father, and he wasn’t positive he’d done an amazing job the first time. And back then, the first time, he hadn’t done the things that had led him here.

His daughter wasn’t sobbing. He wouldn’t have known she was crying at all, if her scrunched up face wasn’t facing him. She wasn’t doing this to get his attention; this wasn’t some red flag she was laying down in his path. She didn’t expect him to apologize, or make this right, and that was what broke his resolve.

If they didn’t become a family, make something where there was nothing, then what was the point of it all?

He wanted these little ones safe. He wanted them to live so long it amazed him, and find love, and families of their own. He wanted that so much, it didn’t matter he had no idea how to become the sort of father they deserved. It might take time, but he could do gentle again. He knew he could.

The Doctor reached out once more, slowly, gently, pulling them up into his lap. He hugged them, while they hugged each other.

In the silence, he promised what he couldn’t say out loud. He promised them a life, a real life. He promised them they would be amazed by the things they saw, and the love they felt. He vowed to be better, and never give up on them, no matter what.

“I’m sorry,” he said, after a moment, letting them go. “I meant what I said…but I shouldn’t have said it like that. Now…you made me breakfast?”

Gav looked up at him first, and pulled away, scooting across the Doctor’s bed until he got to the plate. The Doctor reached out, taking it. It too was sticky and he knew that the next thing he was going to have to accomplish was a bath. He started making a list, of shops, places, events. He started organizing, because it made it possible in his head. He could be a father, one step at a time.

The Doctor looked down at the food on the plate, inedible, even if his stomach did recognize it as food.

It’d been so long since he’d eaten, and he wasn’t sure how well he was going to react to this, but he picked up the black toast and took a bite. It dissolved in his mouth, but he continued until it was gone. They looked so pleased with themselves that he managed a smile.

Shy hummed softly, and he sat the plate to the side.

“You’ll be needing a bath,” he said, reaching out for them.

He scooped them up, before there could be any protest, and carried them back to their room. The TARDIS had already made them a nice bathroom, with child size features, and he found everything he needed inside.

He had them in there, splashing soon enough, and he went out to their room. As he dug through the clothes, he felt tears fill his eyes. That was the one thing he hadn’t done-cry. He’d screamed, raged, promised to go back, swore he wouldn’t. He’d torn rooms apart, and tried to glue himself back together in any order he could find, but a tear hadn’t fallen once.

Now they flowed freely, with his kids splashing in the background. The world seemed to fade away him. He could hear them, kept enough of his mind on that to be aware they were okay, but the rest he let go. He just remembered, clutching small clothes to his chest, his jacket becoming damp.

He cried for all the ones he couldn’t save, for a choice he didn’t have. He cried because saving the universe meant destroying his own. He let the tears run, until his head began to ache, until he heard restless voice from the bathroom. There was a very good chance that he was too broken to be raising any kids.

But right now, they were three souls adrift in a universe that wasn’t going to do them many favors. All they had was each other, and no matter how hard it was, he was determined to make them into a family.


	3. Chapter 3

The Doctor had washed the smell of grapes from them. He had combed out their hair, decided that they could use a haircut, though it was really just his preference.

They were dressed now, in tiny clothes, real food filling up their stomachs. He was seated on the jump seat, hands folded in his lap, watching them play on the floor of the console room.

The Doctor had been trying to get up for several minutes, reminding himself of the list he was working to accomplish. He had discovered a lack of toys in the TARDIS, something he was sure had been on purpose, and though there were a few outfits, there weren’t near enough for the messes they were sure to make.

He knew the TARDIS was working on him. She was making it so he had to seek out the new stuff, buy them what they needed. It was a grand plan, to make him step out of the bigger on the inside box, he would have surely let become his tomb, if they hadn’t come along.

He wasn’t sure he was much better, much closer to being alive then dead, but he was going to have to work on that. He was going to have to step up, and start living.

The TARDIS was positively humming with the change in events, and he knew she was quite taken with them already.

He finally stood, and their eyes shot to him at once. They were watching his every move, always seemed to be, and it was a heavy reminder to keep himself on the path he had etched out before them. He lifted them up, and moved to the seat next to the one he had just occupied. It was long, and cushy, with straps that he carefully buckled around them. 

They didn’t struggle, moving even to help him pull their arms through. He wondered how long this would last, envisioning fits of the future. It was almost enough to make him smile —something so normal it ached.

“Go?” Shy asked, wiggling until she seemed comfortable. “We going?”

“Yes,” he agreed, nodding.

He stepped over to the console, piloting them as carefully as he could. It felt good to fly again, familiar. He felt like he had a purpose for the first time in —if he was completely honest- much longer than it had been since his world had turned to ash at his hands.

Shy was smiling, quick with the words that did know, and with that little smile. Gav was quieter. He watched even more than Shy, but the Doctor heard them whispering.

The Doctor landed them on Earth, with a small sigh. He couldn’t imagine what had drawn him here, once more. Not when he had a whole universe out there, where they could shop and see, and yet, he took them back to his second home. Now…outside of the TARDIS, the only place he even remotely felt like he belonged.

He looked over at the twins, and they met his gaze. He took the short steps to them, unbuckling them and putting them on the ground again. When they had a good grip on his fingers, one on each side of him, he headed for the door.

The sun was shining, and it was warm. There was a small breeze, the smell of life in the air. The twins tilted their heads, back, looking at the blueness of the sky. He did the same, closing his eyes for a moment. He wondered when the last time they saw a sun was, and if it felt as amazing to them, as it did to him in that moment.

When he opened his eyes, he found the children had closed their eyes to block the sun, but they still had their heads tilted up. He smiled, as he heard the sound of laughter in the air. Children’s laughter, and he turned his head, realizing how close they had landed to a park. There were swings, and slides, and a large box full of sand.

There were children running around, lost to the troubles of the world. The twins looked up at him, and he let out a breath of annoyance. They could have landed in an alley; they could have landed right next to the store. He glared at the door of the TARDIS and he was fairly sure he heard her humming from here.

The Doctor wasn’t certain they had ever been to a park, or if they had other children aside from each other to play and laugh with. He did know they knew that they wanted to go though, even before they looked from the park to him.

“P’ease,” Shy said, tugging on his hand.

Gav waited a moment, and then nodded.

“P’ease daddy,” he said, tugging too.

The Doctor let out a sigh, reaching up and running a hand over his face. He didn’t want to stop, wanted to get them back into the TARDIS as quickly as he could, but he couldn’t deny them this. He took their hands again, leading them over to the sandbox. They released his hands, and hurried off into it.

The Doctor settled onto a bench, watching as they played with the sand in awe. They didn’t start out building anything, just letting it run through their fingers, enjoying the feeling of something new. They looked so much like humans, that no one was going to know just how far from their home they were. He stayed alert, always alert, because he had to keep the safe. Even if there was no real danger

He almost didn’t notice the woman settling beside him, as her child joined them in the play area. He was a little boy, with bright eyes, and a spiky hair. His mother watched him for a moment, and then turned to the Doctor.

“They’re yours?” she asked.

He bit back a sarcastic response, and tried to pretend he still knew how to interact with the funny little apes, he and his children so closely resembled. Or, really, it was the other way around.

“Yes,” he said, nodding.

It didn’t exactly come out as polite, but it was better than it could have been.

She waited for more, watching him, until he finally looked away. He counted his breaths, waiting for her to decide he was a little too odd to be sitting by.

“Alec,” she called out after a moment, rising. “Alec, let’s go play on the swings.”

The boy let out a huff, dropping his handful of sand onto Shy’s lap and running for her. The Doctor waited for Shy to react, but she simply brushed it off and went back to what she was doing. He was sure he didn’t take another breath until mother and child were well enough away from them.

The Doctor returned his focus to the twins, and smiled, despite being so uncomfortable here.

This whole time, since the end of the war, since he survived, he thought he had been falling. A constant event that had claimed all his time, and energy, but he realized that he wasn’t falling at all. He was already at the bottom, and as they rushed over, sand covered and rosy cheeked, he realized that there was something after the fall after all.

Three Years Later

The Doctor had a book opened in his lap, and he was doing his very best to act like he was reading it. He had been meaning to for weeks after all, and they were well enough occupied that he had the time. But they kept bickering, and drawing his attention back to them, whether they were aware of it or not.

Shy was standing on a chair or her tower as they had decided, a table separating them. Gav had a fake sword at his side, a stick he was calling his horse laying on the floor beside him. He wanted so much to rescue her, because he thought that was how the game ought to be played, but Shy hopped down once again and rounded the table.

“You can come up,” she said, crossing her arms. “But this isn’t a rescue.”

“You said I could be the hero!” he complained.

The Doctor sighed, closing the book. This was at least the third time he’d heard this fight, and he decided they had been watching too much TV. That had to be where this was coming from.

He didn’t interrupt yet, though he knew he was going to have to. He just smiled, despite the fighting, because he was so glad to have their company and their love. Three years he’d been a father…well, the second time around.

They had grown, taller, wiser. He taught them from the books in the library, from the knowledge in his head, and when they weren’t playing, they were eager to learn about the universe around them.

He loved them more than he knew was possible, and though they hadn’t stopped the nightmares, or made the pain nothing but a memory; they had given him a sense of purpose. A reason to hold on again. They gave him a reason to be a better man, and he was trying ever day to accomplish that for them.

Gav let out a tiny huff, turning to him, arms crossed over his chest.

“Tell her that the hero saves the girl, Daddy,” he whined out.

Shy hurried to him, climbing up into his lap, and sticking out her lower lip. She batted her big green eyes, and he knew that a lesser man might give this child anything she wanted.

It would be so easy to spoil both of them, he did have a universe at his hands after all, but he had vowed to be fair. To be responsible, so that the lives he let loose into that universe were good, and fair and kind. He wanted them to be what he had failed to be more often than not.

“I think that’s enough of that game,” he said, gently.

He smiled as Gav’s stomach growled, and stood up, keeping his hold on Shy.

“I think you’ve earned a snack,” he said.

Shy lost the pout, throwing her arms around his neck.

“Like what?!” she asked, brightly, planting a kiss on his cheek.

He shook his head, carrying her out into the hall as Gav skipped at his side.

“I think we can find something,” he said, grinning at first her and then him.

He settled them into their chairs, and glanced back once more. He never dreamed of this life, but he found out that was only because his dreams couldn’t imagine a reality so good.

Five Years Later

Screaming ran down the halls, pushing past his door, and waking him. It was Shy, without a doubt, and while he knew nothing could get on this TARDIS to hurt her, he still threw back the covers. He leapt out, sliding to the door and throwing it open.

The twins slept every night, though like him, they could go longer if they needed. They had always slept peacefully, not plagued by a past like his. He had never known them to have a nightmare, if they ever had; they sure hadn’t come to him.

He pulled her door open, skipping knocking, and rushing in. She was sitting up, as he flipped on the light, pale, and chest heaving. Her hands were clutching her blanket tightly, and for a moment, in his mind, she was two again.

He blinked and rushed for her, checking her over for injuries, despite the fact he was certain this trauma had come from within.

He ran his hand over her arms, but found nothing but them trembling. The Doctor reached out to her, pulling her against him, and shifted until he was leaning against the wall, holding her tightly.

“My precious girl,” he whispered, rubbing her back.

He let her get it out, murmuring until the tears stopped, and finally when the shaking did.

When she was ready, when she tilted her head to look up at him, he wiped away the tear trails. He leaned down, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“Want to talk about it?” he asked, softly, shifting to see her better.

“Why is there war?” she asked.

The questions caused his hearts to miss a beat, and stole the breath from his lungs. He cleared his throat, searching for an answer that would be appropriate. She was smarter than her age, that was certain, so he couldn’t feed her an answer he might to a normal child her age. But at the same time, she was still so young, and there was such a thing as way too much information.

What she was asking was so complicated, so heartbreaking, that he fumbled for several moments.

“Well,” he finally said, closing his eyes, and forcing the screams out of his all too active mind. “Sometimes, someone feels very strongly about something, and sometimes, a lot of times, they’re wrong….though that isn’t really the point.”

“What is the point?” she asked, moving to sit up.

He dropped his hands into his lap. She was staring at him, beyond that, studying him.

“The point is, that it matters to them,” he said, thinking back to all the wars fought in the name of something awful. “And then you’ll have another side, that doesn’t believe or want those same things, and Shy, this is so important. That doesn’t make them right either.”

“Well, doesn’t someone have to be right?” she asked, picking at her blanket.

“You’d be surprised, darling,” he said, taking her hand. “But those sides, with their opposing ideas, feel that the only way to get everyone onto their side is to fight. Fight until they are the winners. And it’s awful, and cruel….and…it’s hard to understand, even for me.”

“You fought,” she said.

He took in a sharp breath, and then nodded.

“Is that what this is about?” he asked. “You…saw?”

She nodded, and bit her lip.

“Were you right?” she finally asked.

He needed to know how she saw, but he decided that could wait until morning. He looked around the room, and tried to come up with an answer he could live with.

“I don’t know,” he finally said. “But I did what I had to do.”

She nodded, shifting until she was lying down on the bed.

“I still love you,” she said, as he climbed to his feet. “Always will.”

He looked down at her, touching her head and slipping from the room.

The next day, he began to work on psychic training. He helped them build walls, and it seemed they were fast developing their skills. Adinties were psychic to a degree, as were Time Lords. They were a combination of both, not needing to touch, but so far, not actively reading anyone’s thoughts.

It took days, but finally the nightmares stopped. He watched them sleep peacefully, and then retreated to his own bed. It was the first time since the war; he slept without nightmares of his own.

Two Years Later

They were in the library. He was in the hall. He’d been in the hall for exactly five minutes, without being able to make his hand turn the knob on the door. He knew he had to go in, he was the one that had decided it was time, after all.

They were getting older, and it was his job to explain what was happening with their bodies. The only problem was that he had no idea how to begin this talk. They were his babies…admittedly not so much babies anymore.

But he couldn’t bear the thought of Gav finding a girlfriend, and the thought of a boy coming near his baby girl made his head all poundy and he often had to sit down when the thought emerged.

He took another slow breath, ran his hand down his face and slowly pushed the door open a tiny bit. He looked at the back of their heads, both of them leaning back, relaxed. No idea what he was going to throw upon them.

He thought about it for another moment. Perhaps it was too early. They could wait another five…ten years…then he would tell them. They could live in innocence a little longer.

“He’s going to go with the birds and bees thing,” Shy said, confidently, nodding her head. “I’m certain of it.”

“No way,” Gav said, with a laugh. “Gardner and flower. I’m positive.”

“If you were positive, you’d take my bet,” she said.

“Dishes for a week?” he asked, running his fingers through his blond hair, seeming to think.

The Doctor moved a little farther away from them, listening and shaking his head. Here he was thinking he was going to be bringing up something they knew nothing about, but it seemed like they were on to him.

“Yes,” Shy agreed. “Now shush and wait for him.”

He paused for a couple breaths, reminding himself that he was nothing if not professional. He pushed the door open, and cleared his throat.

Both of their heads turned, following him with their eyes as he moved in front of the couch they occupied.

He looked down at them, and tried to ignore the wave of nausea that found him. This was silly, he knew. He was the adult here.

“Alright,” he said, nodding, and pulling his jacket straighter. “What do you two know about sex?”

Shy snorted, and tried to cover it up with a cough.

“There’s a whole section on it, in the library,” Gav said. “We’ve read the books.”

“All of them,” Shy said.

“W…what?” he said. “All of them? Why?”

“It’s important to be informed,” Gav said, smiling up at him.

“Some of it was pretty weird,” Shy said, nodding.

“Yeah,” the Doctor said, looking to where Gav was pointed.

He had forgotten he even had books on the subject, though he had books on most subjects in one dimension, or room, or another.

“Are we done?” Shy asked.

“Yes,” the Doctor said, quickly.

They got up as he ran a hand over his head.

Three Years Later

The Doctor was alone, in the library. He had a stack of books next to him, piled high, and a cup of tea at his side. He let out a happy noise, surprising himself. He was really content in this moment. His head was relatively quiet, but not as quiet as it was before he had the children’s energy in there. It was just enough to keep it from being unbearable.

He opened up the first book, settling back onto the couch. If he got comfortable enough, he might even take a nap, it’d been a couple days since he’d gone to bed.

He flipped through the pages, reading slowly. He savored the words; let them pour into his mind, caress his thoughts. He could read this whole stack in no time, but today wasn’t a day for rushing. His head started to droop, his breathing slowing until the library door was thrown open.

He jumped up, the book spilling from his lap, and he blinked. The twins were there, grinning at him.

Gav gave a small wave, and walked over, scooping up the book.

“Sorry,” he said, handing it over. “Didn’t know you were sleeping.”

The Doctor closed it, shrugging it off.

“Not now, are you two okay?” he asked, looking them over.

Gav was dressed in a button up shirt, jeans, and converses. He was almost as tall as the Doctor now, thin, but strong. Shy was a good bit shorter than him, dressed in a green shirt, with a book on it, and jeans. She too wore converses, and she was grinning at him.

They both still had blonde hair, very blonde, and their eyes were brighter if anything than when they were babies.

Shy’s curls had relaxed slightly, and Gav wore his in a messy sort of bed head that contrasted with his otherwise tidy appearance.

“We’re fine,” she said. “But guess what?”

“What?” he asked, flopping back on the couch.

“We have to go to Earth!” Gav said, beaming at him, and rocking on his feet. “TARDIS picked up alien tech…way off what should be there.”

He groaned, and nodded. He knew if they saw it, it must be true. And there was no more leaving them behind, they weren’t going to have it. He looked up at them.

“No blowing anything up,” he said, right away, pointing at Gav.

Gav huffed, and the Doctor almost let a smile slip.

“What if we need to,” Shy said. “It could happen. You never know.”

“I know,” The Doctor said, climbing to his feet, and heading out of the room, and for the console.

He looked over the console, and then up at them. They weren’t babies, he thought once again. Maybe someday, he’d finally be able to feel that. Right now, he still worried about them, all the time. But he had to go, and he had to admit, the help could be…well, helpful.


	4. Chapter 4

"Now…" Shy said, leaning over the table he was working on. He was putting the finishing touches on the detonator, on a bomb not fully built. "And I can't believe I'm saying this either, but is a bomb really the best solution to this plastic problem. Couldn't you use….a flame thrower. I like flame throwers…"

He looked up at her, her dark eyes full of amusement, and something that resembled real concern. He already didn't like admitting he was wrong about the bomb; he didn't want to argue over why, right now, this was the best choice. He just wanted to get into the building that would soon be empty, and do what he had to do.

"They're dangerous," he said. "And this is the best way to stop them. Didn't I ask you to get your coat?"

She let out a sigh, pulling her hands off the table and causing it to shake. Gav looked up quickly from the bomb he was working on, small really, but packing quite a punch.

"Careful!" he warned. "Even if it's not finished yet, it's dangerous."

Shy watched them both for a moment, and then shoved her hands in her pockets and walked off. He felt guilt. It was sharp, and heavy. She could have helped, but this wasn't her thing. She'd help Gav with the stuff in the lab, but it didn't really hold her interest. But he knew now that she felt useless.

He sighed, and stood, pulling his leather jacket back on. He tucked the detonator in his inside pocket, and gave Gav a nod, before heading out into the hall. Shy stepped out from her room, zipping up her jacket and ignoring him as she turned for the console room.

He shook his head. Teenagers were remarkably the same, he found. Most places in the universe they were withdrawn and confusing, and he worried about the twins every moment of everyday. Still, he was glad they were here, he just sometimes wished for their mother. Not because he had loved her, though she had been lovely. No, he barely knew her, certainly never should have slept with her.

But he longed for her now, because he wasn't as gentle as he should be with them. He loved them more than anything, but he didn't know how to do the things he ought to. He didn't know what they were missing, and he didn't know how to fix it, but it seemed that missing thing in their lives grew with every passing day.

Gav rushed out behind him, grinning and he smiled back. They headed off to the console room, and the Doctor flew them to Earth. He landed softly, silently, unsure of what to say.

DW

Shy shuffled to the door, opening it and stepping out. It was cool, but not cold, and she could easily adjust her body to counteract it…but she didn't. She let the wind blow across her cheeks, tickling them with the bits of hair that had slipped loose from their tie.

London smelled of a million things, some so subtle she nearly missed them. The food made her mouth water, though she wasn't hungry at all. It was loud inside her head, and loud outside, people talking and thinking all around.

She took in a deep breath, pushing up her walls, and the noise inside her head dulled to a level she could tolerate. She glanced back at her father and brother, walking out of the TARDIS, talking.

She tried to pretend she wasn't jealous, because the truth was; it wasn't as if they excluded her. They were good to her, protective, and giving. They weren't unkind, but she wasn't like them. Not enough to be discussing bombs, and tactics.

It wasn't as if she didn't enjoy those things, just…she wasn't so sure who she was these days. Found herself in the garden more and more, urging life back into the neglected plants. That or books, that was where she was feeling most at home lately.

Still, it was nice to be out. She headed off into the store, walking through without really looking. They had work to do, and limited time. Part of her still wondered if there was a better way, but at least the store would be empty. It was a building being lost, but that happened a lot in the history of the Earth.

She shook her head, feeling more melancholy then was normal for her. She sighed, and shoved her hands in her pockets again, trying to shake the feeling. Despite what they were doing, this wasn't a sad day. It should be exciting more than anything else.

She had no intention of stopping, until she saw the dress. It was gold, and seemed to shine in the bright lights of the store. She reached out, running her fingers over it, and sighed. He'd never get it for her, there was no reason. They didn't do dances. She felt them moving off, farther away from her, but she couldn't pull herself away from the dress.

DW

The Doctor was focused on the task, on what he had to do, so much so he didn't notice that his daughter had stopped. It wasn't until he felt Gav's hand on his arm, that he stopped and looked back. She was standing on the edge of the dress section, holding a long flowing gold dress in her grasp.

She didn't hold it up to her, but she was so focused on it, she nearly didn't blink. He hurried over to her, hating that he was going to have to rush her along. Her hearts were decided, that she wanted this dress, but he couldn't think of a single use for it. They never went anywhere that required a dress, and she had never expressed any interest in them before.

She was growing though, and he wondered if part of him wasn't seeing her anymore. Not the teenage girl she had become. He knew it was easier to see her as a baby, as a five year old, reaching out for his hand. Much easier, than realizing she was one day closer to not needing him anymore.

"We need to go, love," he said, gently, reaching out and touching her shoulder. "Please, we're short on time."

"It's so beautiful," she said, almost a whisper. Almost as if she expected him not to care at all, or to not be able to see its beauty. As if she expected him to fail her.

"It is," he agreed after a moment, torn about his next decision. Should he buy it for her? Find a reason for her to wear it, he was certain he could find a ball they could attend. Is that what a mother would do? A better father would do?

He sighed.

"And we're just going to blow it up," she said. "Soon, it'll be nothing but ash, or buried beneath the rubble. Gone to us."

He looked around, making sure no one in the nearly empty store had heard her confession before looking the dress over again. He sighed, and looked at his daughter.

"Shy," he said, softly. "Do you want it? We can buy it."

He was already reaching for some money, hoping he had some tucked away in one of his bigger on the inside pockets.

She seemed to shake off the trance, off the cloud that had settled over her, and dropped it. She looked over at him and smiled, shaking her head.

"Course not," she said, heading off and towards the lift. "Why would I want it? It's just a dress."

He watched her back for a moment, for signs that she was lying. There might have been the tiniest sag to her shoulders, but other than that, she was smiling and joking with her brother. If she was faking it, wearing a mask, she had become as good at it, as he was. The thought terrified him.

DW

Gav hated to see his sister upset, but she wasn't visibly right now. She didn't want him to worry, her father to worry, but she couldn't hide her mind. He could feel it, the disappointment, the loneliness, even she couldn't explain.

They had become a family, close, and largely only having each other. They were happy, she was happy, he knew for a fact, but he also understood. Sometimes, he longed for a fresh voice, someone else to talk to.

But he found solace in his experiments, in his family. It worked, for now.

When the elevator stopped, they stepped out. The hall was bright, but quiet, and they took the stairs up to the roof. The wind whipped around him, night settled over the city. He dropped to his knees, working on the bomb.

There wasn't much to do, but he moved slowly, checking and rechecking. He wished his father had listened, that there was some way to do this without the bomb.

The truth was, he loved blowing things up. Big things, small things, but he didn't like causing damage, not really. What he did, was fun. This was…different. Even if no one got hurt, it still felt worse. But he wasn't going to argue, wasn't sure that there was time for a better plan.

He connected the last wire, while his father pulled out his sonic and did a scan of the building. One final scan, and they'd go down. As soon as they were clear, they'd blow it. Easy enough. A mess left behind, but a mess without the loss of life. He could live with that.

"Damn it!" his father said.

Gav looked up quickly. It wasn't that he hadn't heard his father curse, in several languages in fact —usually when he smashed a finger working on the TARDIS- but him doing it now meant something was not going according to their plan. The bomb was stable, so he wiped his hands on his jeans and stood up.

"You two stay here," his father said, nodding, and shoving the detonator back into his pocket.

"What is it?" Gav asked, stepping closer.

"Someone's still inside," he said. "Two people, just stay here, please."

His eyes were begging, and Gav gave a nod, and shoved his hands into his pockets. The Doctor looked over at Shy and she gave a nod, and his father let out a breath of relief before taking off again.

DW

What he didn't say, was that one life was fading fast. Faster than he could reach them, he was certain, but he still ran. He skipped the lift, taking the stairs down as quickly as he could.

He shoved the sonic back into his pocket, hopping onto a landing and skidding to the next steps. He finally made it to the basement, bursting out, and running down. He nearly stumbled on the man, dropping to his knees.

He reached his fingers out, touching the man's neck. It was still warm, but all signs of life were gone. He wanted to try to do something, hated to leave him there, but that other life sign had been strong. The other person was still living, but that could change if the plastic got to them before he did.

He stood quickly, stepping over the man, and moving forward. He heard a female voice call out, sounding scared. It was time, too late, really. The plastic was active, and he knew they had little time to stop them before any escaped.

He had to get the woman out.

He came upon the door, opening it quickly, and looking in. One of the dummies had its hand up, had the woman —a girl really, young, and stunning, if he'd allow himself to think on it- backed against the wall.

He reached in quickly, unsure if she was frozen in fear, or just certain that she was trapped. He took her hand in his, and she looked over at him.

"Run," he said, tugging on her as the hand came down.


	5. Chapter 5

He pulled her through, the hand slicing through the air where she had been. She didn't look scared, though she ran along with him easily. They burst through a set of double doors, the dummies hurrying after them at a surprising rate for plastic.

He glanced at her. Blonde hair, that was far from natural —even if it suited her- and whiskey colored eyes. She was beautiful, honestly. Her smaller hand was human warm in his, and his hearts were racing in a way that had nothing to do with the running they were performing.

He got them to the lift, bouncing impatiently as it took it's time. When the doors slid open, he let her in first, moving in behind her, and hitting a button. He didn't care too much about the floor, though the one with the exit was what he was hoping for in his mad slap.

An arm forced its way into the closing gap, reaching for them. He could hear her heart rate increase, feel her fear, and he knew that he was willing to do anything to protect her. He grabbed the arm, the doors so close to closing, and yanked, and then again.

It popped off into his hands, and the doors closed, sealing them off from the danger. At least they were, for a moment. It would lie on the other side of the doors as well. Nowhere in this building was safe, and if they didn't stop it soon, there wouldn't be anywhere outside of this building that would be safe either.

She'd been silent. And while he knew she was scared, she hadn't lost her head. He was fairly impressed with her, not that he would mention it.

He held the arm in his hands, knowing that he should say something, but unsure of how to explain this away. Obviously he had to get her to safety. Even more obvious, was the fact that this would probably be the last time he saw her. Her only experience with him would be this. This lift ride, after she saw dummies coming to life, and he pulled the arm off one.

He sure did know how to make an entrance.

"You pulled its arm off!" the blonde said.

It was a statement, an accurate one at that. He turned to her, tossing the arm back and she caught it, looking down at it.

"Plastic," he explained, though she was holding it in her hands.

She nodded, somewhat slowly, and then looked up at him. She opened her mouth for a moment, and then closed it before opening it again.

"Very clever," she said. "What is this, some student thing?"

He'd like to call her a silly little ape. He'd like to pretend she was just trying to explain away what she had seen, to justify it so it wasn't anything more than a prank. And there was a good chance that was plenty true, but he sensed something more than that too. A need to understand. He thought she might actually be seeking out an answer, even if it wasn't one she was likely to be comfortable with.

He had to admire that, even if it was just a little bit. He glanced back at her, trying to decide the best set of words to fall from his mouth. He didn't think they should involve his children being on the roof, ready to blow the building, at least not yet. They hadn't even properly met yet.

"Why do you think they are students?" he asked, after a moment.

"I'm not sure," she stared, but he shot her a glance, and she stood straighter. "They've got to be, don't they? That many people coming together and acting silly, students, right?"

It was logical, though very much wrong.

"That makes sense," he said, nodding and returning to his staring at the door.

At least it kept him from looking at her.

"So…they're students," she ventured.

"No," he said, shaking his head. "They aren't students."

She let out a huff of air, and he realized he was being frustrating. He allowed a small smile. He had realized this is record time, the twins would be so proud.

"Well, whoever they are," the girl said. "When Wilson finds them, he'll call the police."

He knew who Wilson was, was certain it was the body he was forced to leave behind. But he had to ask…had to be certain.

"Who's Wilson?" he asked, hoping his voice came out steady.

"Chief electrician," she said.

He let out a small breath. Damn.

"Wilson is dead," he said, firmly.

Would she cry? He couldn't imagine her tears coming, or how close they could have been, but he wasn't prepared for them if they did. He still flailed in the face of most emotions.

Fortunately the lift opened, and she followed him out without tears. He wasn't sure what to say, at this point, so he simply told her to watch her eyes as he gently pushed her to the side. Pulling out the sonic, he pointed it at the lift button, frying the connection. They might be following them up, but it wasn't going to be through this lift.

"I've had enough of this," she said, firmly, as he took off once again.

He gave a short nod, trying to lead her to the exit as quickly as he could.

She was full of questions, questions he couldn't and wouldn't answer, but that didn't seem to slow her. He found he didn't mind that she kept talking, rather liked the fire that seemed to fill her. Curiosity, ah, the silly little apes.

Finally he paused at the door, before opening it. His mouth followed, and she looked at him expectantly.

"They're made of plastic," he said, nodding and hoping she'd walk through the open door way. "Living plastic. There is a relay on the roof, which would be a problem if my children and I weren't about to take care of it." He pulled out the detonator, while she looked around behind him presumably for the twins, as if she had missed two teenagers following them around. "We're going to blow them up, but we promise not to die in the process. So…go on, eat your beans on toast."

She walked through the door, but she was staring at him as though he was mad. Perhaps she wasn't wrong.

He could have said more, wanted to say more. But his life was far from just his own, and he thought that meant the days of asking for someone to jump into his adventure were long gone.

"Don't tell anyone about this," he said. "You don't want to get them killed."

The warning lay softly between them, as if it were simply a suggestion, instead of a sincere worry. He should have said it with more force, but really, she had gone through enough tonight.

He closed the door, despite her wide eyes, certain she was going to ask more questions. He was running out of time as it was. He took a couple steps, before he stopped. He knew what he needed to do, but didn't think he could bear to let her go without at least knowing her name.

He hurried back to the door, opening it again. She had turned away, but she looked back now.

"I'm the Doctor," he said, offering a flash of what could be called a smile. "And you are?"

"Rose," she said, after a moment. "I'm Rose."

"Nice to meet you, Rose," he said, nodding. And it really was, very nice to meet her, however brief. "Now, you better run."

He closed the door, and this time, he let it stay closed, hurrying back for the stairs. He had wasted far too much time, and they were going to have to run to get out of the building in time to blow it. He took the stairs in two's, and smiled to himself.

DW

Shy shoved her hands in her pockets and paced. He should have been back by now, even with someone in the building. Surely he just had to get them out, a quick lie, a little nudge, and they could easily be led to safety. So what was taking him so long?

"Do you have to do that?" Gav asked, looking her over.

He had zipped up his jacket, shoving his hands into the pockets. It wasn't cold, though the wind whipped around them this high in the air, and she could feel the coolness on her cheeks. She pulled them back, more of a grimace, than a smile, but enjoyed the cool stiff sensation.

She shrugged, leaning against the edge of the building and tilting her head back. She looked at the stars, waiting, counting. They looked different from here. Tiny and so very far away, though they were from this spot right here on Earth.

She felt sorry for the humans, which would never get to actually see them. To know what another planets air felt like, or the sand of some distant beach beneath their toes, that was sad to her. Of course…they had homes that never moved, and mothers and fathers, and cousins, and family so distant they could make a tree for them.

She wasn't sure if it was a fair trade off, but sometimes she wondered.

She opened her mouth to pose the question to her brother, when their father burst out of the stairway door. He flashed them a smile, and she couldn't tell if it was one of being pleased or apologetic for running off and making them worry. Not that she was worried.

"All set?" he asked, nodding to the bomb, lying innocently on the roof.

It wouldn't be just materials put together long, it would be destruction in a tiny package.

Gav nodded, glancing over at her. She let out a small sigh, and heaved herself off the edge and headed for the door.

"Faster than that!" he said, grinning now, and grabbing their arms.

He pulled them along with him, and she found herself smiling after a moment. She wasn't sure what had caused the good mood, but it was infectious.

They were laughing by the time they burst through the door, and rounded the corner from the building. The mood was only sobered when the Doctor pulled the detonator from his pocket. When they were a safe enough distance away, he hit the button.

Shy jumped, despite knowing it was coming, and shoved her hands in her pocket once more. The dress was gone, and they were off again. She knew it was for the best, but she still felt a hollow spot in her chest, and wondered what was missing.


	6. Chapter 6

The Doctor didn't look back, closing the door behind them, and hurrying to the console room. One thing accomplished, and if he didn't slow down, he didn't see the face of a blonde, with those beautiful eyes, at all in his mind.

The twins were largely silent, and when he looked up, they were watching him.

"What?" he asked, after a moment.

He turned from them, feeling guilty, though he wasn't sure why. He was worried the joy was written on his face, and this wasn't the time for joy. And either way, she was gone. Rose was just another passing face, one of many that he'd never see again.

"What was her name?" Shy asked after a moment.

He jerked his head up, and looked back at her. She had her hands shoved into her jacket pocket, and she was watching him carefully. He fumbled for words, glancing at his son.

"Were you looking into my mind?" he asked, avoiding the question for another moment.

"Of course not," Gav said, answering for his sister. He, though, was smiling at the Doctor.

"That would be rude," Shy said, and he thought he saw the corner of her mouth twitch.

"Which has stopped you when?" the Doctor teased, pulling a lever.

"Fair enough," Shy said. "But you didn't answer the question."

He cleared his throat. He was supposed to be many things. The Oncoming Storm, the destroyer. He wasn't supposed to feel like an awkward teenager at the mention of some human's name. He must be getting ill, he decided.

He half hoped, that he if he didn't answer, they'd wander off. That'd be much easier, but when he looked up they were both still there, waiting on him to speak again.

"Rose," he finally said. "Her name was Rose. Are you happy now? Can we get back to work?"

"Are you going to ask her along?" Gav persisted.

"That's not going to happen," he said, at once, looking them over.

He wanted to see some indication, that maybe someday, bringing someone new into their world might be okay. There was something in their faces, but he wasn't sure what it was, and he settled himself to waiting a few more years.

"Don't you want some adult company?" Shy asked.

He looked up again, startled.

"Why….would I want some adult company?" he asked.

They stared at each other for a long moment, and finally she shook her head.

"You should see your face," she said, flopping on the jump seat. "You know…for some company. The three of us…we're family. Sometimes you need an outsider. Shake things up, make them all new again."

He watched her, and for a moment, he considered tracking Rose down. But he couldn't. He wasn't sure why, but something inside him was scared. He was scared she might say yes, that she might shake up the foundation he had spent all these years building.

And he was scared she would say no. He didn't know which one he feared more.

"She's not much older than you two," the Doctor said. "A few years, I imagine."

They didn't answer, and he let out a sigh. They had given him permission, it was up to him now, he knew.

"What now?" Gav asked, looking the console over.

He blinked, and then nodded towards the screen above Gav's head.

"There is a signal, the plastic," he said. "We need to check it out….if you two want to stay here and wait, I can go alone."

"Cause that's likely to happen," Shy said, standing again. "We're not letting you have all the fun."

He sighed and flipped another lever.

DW

Gav stepped out of the TARDIS, the morning air warmer than last night. He breathed it in, and looked over to his father who was digging for his sonic. He had been trying to convince the Doctor that he and Shy needed one for themselves, but so far the man hadn't budged.

He wasn't quite sure why they were going along, because there was a book that he could be reading right now, but when Shy had agreed he knew that he too was going. There was no way he was letting the two of them go off on their own, because they were likely to fuel each others reckless streaks, whether they were aware or not.

So he stood there in the morning air, until his father nodded towards a tall building and shuffled along after him. His stomach let out a pathetic growl, and he remembered that they hadn't taken the time to eat breakfast.

The Doctor looked back at him, and smiled apologetically. It wasn't often that a meal was forgotten, of course, it wasn't often they had something real to do with their day. Sure, they went out, from time to time. And sometimes, they stopped a bit of trouble, but mostly they just shopped and he took them swimming and taught them from old books. This was something he could touch, really learn from.

This was real, and he was glad to be a part of it, even if there was a book in his room, calling his name.

"I have a banana," the Doctor said. "A couple, would you like them?"

Gav nodded, holding out his hand as the Doctor produced the un-bruised fruit from one of his pockets. Shy shook her head, as he offered her the other. She wasn't a big fan, but the Gav shared his father's love for the food, and quickly peeled at ate it, before they resumed walking.

"We'll get you some real food soon, love," he promised, hurrying off through a door and starting up the stairs.

They followed after him, Gav looking for a place to deposit his empty peel and finally slipping it back into his father's pocket. The Doctor was too busy to notice, muttering to himself as they climbed higher.

Shy looked at the stairs.

"I've never liked stairs," she said, looking over him.

He smiled, relieved that they were having a normal conversation. He was just relieved she was talking to him, he had missed her lately. It seemed like they were drifting farther apart with age, and he knew it was natural…but he still missed his sister and her thoughts.

"Why?" he asked, knowing it couldn't be the exercise that brought about this confession.

She could run him into the ground, and then do it all over again.

"They're quite boring," she said. "And quiet…what's so great about them?"

"Well," he thought as his father pushed open a door at the top. "They get you where you're going."

"In the least imaginative way I can think of," she said.

He couldn't argue with her there, so he gave a simple nod and followed his father down until he stopped at a door. The sonic was buzzing loudly, indicating they had found the source of the signal.

He glanced back at them, and then squatted down, looking over the cat door.

"What do you think?" he asked, looking up at them. "And don't say anything about how I'm not going to fit."

Shy opened her mouth, when the cat door pushed out and then dropped back down. His father raised his eye brows, and dropped to his knees, and this time he was waiting. When it opened again, he looked inside and quickly stood as the door opened.

There, in the doorway, stood a girl. She was staring at them, well, the Doctor, and looking both surprised and as though she recognized him. He glanced at his father's face and saw the same expression and quickly decided this must be the Rose he mentioned…or his father had more of a history with women than he had realized.

She was beautiful, and closer to his age than his fathers, but he knew that was something he wasn't ever going to say.

DW

The Doctor fought back words, and then struggled to make them, staring at the woman- Rose- from last night. She looked just as surprised to see him, though when he took a moment for the fog that had overtaken his brain to clear, he realized it made sense. She should have gotten rid of the arm he had handed her, but he hadn't given her instructions to.

He let out a small sigh, as he realized he was probably just chasing a dead end, and resigned himself to leave again. He didn't need the arm, he needed something far bigger. He needed something that would lead him to the transmitter.

"You live here," he finally said, looking into the flat behind her.

She gave him a sharp look.

"I do," she agreed, following his gaze. "What are you doing here?"

She made some comment about only being home because of him blowing up her work, but he carried on, pulling out the sonic. He held it up, as if that was an answer, and she continued to stare at him.

"I was tracking…" he started.

"He had a hunch," Shy said, stepping forward.

"You must be his kids?" Rose asked, looking relieved to see them.

"I'm Shy," Shy said, holding out her hand. Rose shook it, as Gav stepped forward. "This is my brother Gav."

"We'll just be off," the Doctor said, eager to get away- too afraid of how much he wanted to stay.

"Not a chance," she said, grabbing him suddenly and tugging him inside. The twins quickly followed, shutting the door behind them.

She let him go, and he straightened his jacket and started off down the hall, pausing at an open door. She told someone that he was here about the explosion, but went no farther. He shrugged in the direction of the twins and then started off down the hall. They followed, and he glanced in the bedroom.

And older woman was in there, in her dressing gown. She looked him over, and then the twins.

"She deserves compensation," the woman said.

The Doctor nodded, but didn't speak. Gav nudged him and he hurried off down the hall. He thought he heard his son say something about take your kids to work day, but he couldn't be certain, as he walked into the living room.

"Do you all want some coffee," she asked, heading into the kitchen.

He agreed for himself, declining for the twins before they could even speak. Caffeine was even worse for them, than it was for him, and that was saying something. He did want them to sleep sometime this week.

The Doctor wandered around the room, avoiding the mirror. He already knew about the big ears, and the big nose, and the only thing he wanted to know more about at this moment, was the woman in the kitchen. He picked up a piece of mail.

"Rose Tyler," he said, softly.

The twins sat on the couch, as Rose went on about talking to the police. He ought to be finding the arm, getting rid of that for her. Then he should be on his way, because despite running into her twice, he still thought being so close to someone outside of the family, was a bad idea.

He just wasn't sure how much longer he could keep telling himself that.


	7. Chapter 7

Rose stood in the kitchen, after pouring the coffee. Last night, she had nearly convinced herself this was some sort of delusion. If it hadn't been for the news showing her former workplace blowing up, over and over, she would have thought it had all been wrong, even the Doctor- especially the Doctor.

But here he was, standing in her living room, dangerously close to her. And he seemed dangerous, and exciting, and so much more than that. She was drawn to him, though she knew he was quite a bit older than her. He was clearly old enough to have two teenagers, who had followed him into the flat.

They were currently sitting on the couch, and she glanced at them, still talking though she was fairly sure none of the three were paying any attention.

They looked normal- somehow she had been imagining them more like the Doctor, rebellion and leather. They were both tall, the boy taller than the girl. They were lean, but looked as though they were quite fit. Blond hair topped both of their heads- natural, and she was a little jealous- and bright, knowing eyes, which were curently looking around he flat. They weren't what she was expecting at all, and she imagined that was just the tip of the iceberg- the things you might assume about the Doctor and his world, that weren't true.

She took a moment, a deep breath, and gathered up the mugs, before heading out into the living room. She raised her eye brows, as the Doctor struggled with something wrapped around his throat. She looked again, quickly putting the mugs down on the side table. It was the hand from last night, the one that she had asked Mickey to put out.

For a moment, she assumed he was playing. She nearly rolled her eyes, but the boy, Gav, was digging in the Doctor's pocket. They both looked worried, so Rose hurried over. Gav produced the same thing the Doctor had shown her when they were standing outside, and pointed it at the hand. After a moment, it flew off the Doctor's neck, going after Rose. She gasped, ducking, as Shy leapt up, tackling the still wriggling arm.

The Doctor grabbed the device, pointing it at the pinned arm, until finally it stopped. Rose felt breathless, though she hadn't done anything more physical than ducking. She was thankful to still hear the hairdryer going from her mother's room. All of this was overwhelming for her, but her mother would be likely to just phone the police without question.

If that happened, she was certain she was never going to get the answers that she wanted.

"Thanks," Shy said, sitting back on her legs, and passing the hand over to the Doctor.

He took it, holding onto it, and looking her over.

He smiled at her, tossing it to her.

"Don't worry, it's armless now," he said, looking quite proud.

"You think?" she asked, looking at it. Now, it seemed lifeless, but it had looked that way the last time she saw it as well, and she held it away from her.

It seemed better to give herself a little space from the odd plastic.

He pulled himself to his feet, and the twins stood up. She watched them, realizing they were about to walk away again. That was never going to happen.

DW

The Doctor wiped his hands, tucking the sonic back into his pocket. He had wasted enough time here, and now that he was certain the hand wouldn't be causing anymore trouble, he had no real reason to stay. That wasn't to say he couldn't have come up with a few excuses, if he tried hard enough.

He took the arm back from her, and gave her a small nod. Rose Tyler. The name bounced around inside his head, threatening to consume everything he ought to be thinking about, but he pushed it back. There would be plenty of time for regret, about leaving her once again; there was always time for regret. There was only a limited time for action.

"Right," he said, nodding at Gav and Shy. "We'll just be off."

Rose let out a noise of protest, but he ignored it, heading for the door. He imagined her staying there, right where he left her. She would have her mouth opened, an argument on her lips, but she wouldn't have the courage to follow. But there she was, chasing him out to the stairs. He had to fight back a smile.

"But, that arm was moving!" she protested. "It tried to kill me! You can't just walk away without explaining!"

"Watch me," he said, shifting the arm into his other hand.

He should speed up. They could just keep walking, and he was certain that she would eventually give up… At least he thought she would. He should speed up, but if anything, he slowed down. The twins smiled at each other, but he was relieved when they didn't offer up any words to embarrass him.

"I'll…tell people!" she said. "I'll go on the news, I'll tell everyone about this living plastic."

He glanced at her, uncertain for a moment if she was being honest. Her face was hard, but her warm eyes gave her away, and he smiled slightly.

"Is that supposed to sound tough?" he asked, moving faster to keep up with the twins.

"Yes," she agreed, nodding. She hurried to keep up with him.

"It doesn't work," he said, grinning at her now.

She let out a sigh.

"Fine," she said. "Just tell me who you are, who you really are."

"He's the Doctor," Gav called back.

Rose glanced at Gav and then back at the Doctor.

"That doesn't help," she said.

"I know," he replied, honestly. It threw him, especially because she was nearly a stranger. Lying to strangers was so much easier than telling the truth, it´s always been that way.

There was just too much he couldn't tell her, and that asking who he really was, was far more than she was prepared to know. She didn't need to know that home, for him, was a box. It wasn't red grass and two suns. It wasn't warm mornings or running from responsibility long before he stole that box.

Home moved. It was solid and steady and hummed her love for her inhabitants. Home was two teenagers that had crashed into his world, and somehow taught him to rebuild it. Compared to being an alien with two hearts, and fond of her species, all that was who he really was. And he couldn't tell her any of that, so he kept largely silent on the matter.

Instead of answering, he explained the plastic. What he was doing here and what he had learned from the hand. She listened, and he wasn't certain if she was following, or just attempting to.

They were close to the TARDIS and Shy gave him a look, nodding to where it was tucked away on the corner of a road.

"Dad," she said, softly. "You have to choose."

He stopped for a moment, looking at Rose who looked at Shy and then at him.

"Choose what?" Rose asked, looking nervous.

"It's complicated, Rose," he said, loving the way his mouth formed around her name. "Go home. Live your life, it's what's best."

"Tell me, Doctor," she said, drawing herself up. "Who are you? "

He glanced at the twins, and then took a step closer to Rose. He could hear her heart rate increase, and reached out, taking her hand.

"It's like when you were a kid," he said, nodding. "When someone tells you that the world is turning, and you don't know how to believe it. Everything seems like it's standing still, and it makes you question everything. I can feel it."

She swallowed visibly and he continued talking. For a moment, the sensation became overwhelming. Time and space were both pushing and pulling on him, and her small, warm hand kept him planted on this spot- on this little corner, of this little planet, while the universe threw itself at him.

When he felt like he could breathe again, he let her hand go. He wiped his own on his jeans and gave her a nod.

"That's who I am, Rose Tyler," he said, and he moved to the twins. "That's who we are. Now go home. Forget us."

He moved away, and he knew that she was still there, watching them walk away. If he was right, if he did his job, she would never forget. He hoped he burned himself into her brain, and many years from now, she might remember him, and that moment. He had so many years left, and it was only fair, as he would never forget the way it made him feel. Alive.

He shooed the twins off once they were back inside, sitting down on the jump seat. He looked around at the empty room, and after a moment closed his eyes. He tried to imagine her in the console room, bright eyes looking at him, ready for an adventure.

He'd take her anywhere, anywhere she wanted to go. He'd show her the wonders of the universe, take her away from her little world, and show her there was so much more than she knew. He thought she would be receptive, that she would be willing.

Yet, here he was. Feeling impossibly lonely, especially considering his past. She was out there somewhere, one of so many humans. But she stood out in his mind, and forgetting her seemed more impossible by the moment.

The Doctor stood, taking off his coat, and laying it over the strut next to his son's. For so long, companions were his family, were what and who he loved. Now that he had the twins, he didn't need to fill any gaps that his hearts were formed around. But he still wanted her in his life, and if he saw her again, he might just ask her along.


	8. Chapter 8

They were still waiting for a stupid little blip that would indicate that another source of the plastic would be found- or rather, a usable one. He had made it clear, that none of the previous blips were much more useful than that arm had been.

Shy had watched the Doctor hook up the arm, even as he muttered about how it wasn't going to be enough, and when he confirmed it, she had wandered off.

She was more than happy to be out, to be moving. She loved being on Earth, and seeing and hearing the world outside of the TARDIS… but this was nice too.

Shy settled onto her knees once more, shifting the dirt around the newest seeds to be added to the new plot. She looked around the room, at the ones that had sprouted, and farther down the flowers of a dozen or so colors.

She smiled. When her father had shown her to this room, and she was fairly sure it was only because she had annoyed him to no end when Gav had grown so fond of his lab, none of this had been here.

She knew, that once, it had been amazing. She could see the reflection of the past in his eyes, and had vowed, however silently, that she would rebuild.

There was a soft knock on the door, and she looked over.

"Found it," Gav said. "But Dad says we ought to just stay here."

"Why?" she asked, wiping her hands off. "Why can't we go?"

Gav shrugged. "He said something about it being a delicate thing."

"Great," Shy said, stabbing her trowel into the soft dirt. "Fine, I'll just be here."

"I don't think he means any harm, Shy," Gav said, softly. "He said it wouldn't take too long."

"I know, Gav," she said, looking over. "I know…"

Gav nodded, and closed the door, leaving her to plant her anger away.

DW

The Doctor felt guilty, as he approached the restaurant. He knew that neither of them was too happy about him going alone, but he knew that it was best. He had spotted the blonde hair on the monitor, and the obviously fake version of a boy following her in.

He needed to try to do this quietly, and that would be a lot harder with two others in there with him. He hoped that they could understand that while he loved having them around, sometimes he still had to do things alone.

The Doctor walked into the restaurant and looked around. They were sitting alone at a table, and he wasn't even a little bit jealous. They had an air of being a couple, even if one half of that couple was a plastic man.

Their food wasn't ready, probably hadn't even been ordered, and he needed a reason to go over to their table.

So he grabbed a bottle of champagne, walking around like he belonged. It had always worked for him in the past, and it didn't fail him now. He flashed a smile at the only employee that even looked his way, and she smiled back before returning to work.

He still had the charm, even if he was often incredibly awkward and out of practice.

He headed over to their table.

"Champagne?" he asked, holding it out.

They seemed annoyed, but he still persisted, until finally, they looked up.

The plastic recognized him. Then Rose did.

Dw

Mickey had gone with her to talk to that man, and while slightly annoying it was a little sweet. At least he cared about her safety. But once she had gotten back to the car, and now that they were here, he was back to only thinking about himself.

She loved him; she did, though maybe not as much as she had when they had first started. She knew that he was good at heart, but sometimes that wasn't enough, not really.

And now she was annoyed with him, and this waiter kept trying to give them a bottle that wasn't theirs.

And then she looked up.

It was the Doctor. He flashed her a smile, that was anything but calming, and she quickly glanced around for the twins. They were nowhere to be seen.

The Doctor popped the cork, and it flew into Mickey's forehead- only it went right through, and he spit it back out of his mouth.

"He's… plastic?" she asked, though she knew it wasn't a question, all the evidence she needed was right in front of her face.

"Yes," the Doctor said, nodding. He dropped the bottle and pulled her away from him.

Mickey's- only this wasn't Mickey- hand morphed and he started smashing the tables. The Doctor gave her another smile, and moved for him, yanking until the head popped off, as he had done with the arm in the lift.

She stared.

This wasn't normal. This wasn't the life that she knew, and everything she thought she knew was spinning all around her, into a cyclone of disbelief. But here it was, and denial didn't make it different.

"Come on," he said, gently but persistent. "This way."

And she followed- because some part of her trusted him. Because this wasn't the first time he had saved her, and because she still wanted to know more.

She was worried about Mickey, sure. And she wanted to be sure that wasn't really him, that he was still out there, somewhere. But for right now, all she had was the retreating leather-clad back of the Doctor, and he held the answers she needed.

She hurried after him, towards the back, hitting the fire alarm, to scatter the rest of the diners.

"Good thinking," she heard the Doctor say, as he slammed the doors behind her.

They looked heavy, and he buzzed them with the tube thing he had on him, but she didn't think that would keep the headless Mickey behind them.

"This way," he said, nodding towards the blue box.

"You can open the gate!" she suggested, pointing.

He shook his head, pushing open the door to the box. It said "police" on it, but she knew that this man wasn't the police. He was something far more, and without a doubt more dangerous.

DW

He didn't call out to the kids, hooking up the head as she went on about the person. It wasn't as if he didn't care, just that there was a bigger picture that humans often managed to overlook.

He nearly told her to shut up. He had to bite his lip to stop it, but he managed to realize before he said it, that it was quite rude.

"The head is perfect," he explained as he spun to look at her. "Just complex enough to get a signal, I believe."

She was looking around. She didn't look scared, though at this point fear of a bigger on the inside box, probably seemed silly, even to her.

"Where do you want to start?" he asked, leaning back against the console.

"It's, um… bigger on the inside," she said.

"It is," he agreed.

"It's alien, isn't it?" she asked. "You're alien. You and the kids. You're all aliens."

He was glad she hadn't slipped another alien in there, or he might think she was having a hard time adjusting to the facts.

"We are," the Doctor agreed, hesitantly. "Is that a problem?"

She shook her head, giving him a quick denial. The Doctor felt encouraged, started to talk about the TARDIS more, hoping she was interested, that she cared.

He was interrupted by a short sob; she stopped herself just a moment after. She was tough, he could admit to that.

"It's alright," he said, hoping it was gentle. "Happens to the best of us."

"Did they kill him?" she asked. "Did they kill Mickey? You ripped his head off, but is he really dead?"

He looked her over, unsure of how to answer.

"To be honest, I hadn't thought of it," he said.

She opened her mouth, and he was certain that he was going to hear about it when the twins walked in.

"What's going o-" Shy said, before seeing Rose.

Rose pulled herself up straight, and looked them over.

"He pulled off my boyfriends head," she said, giving the Doctor a short glare. "But can't tell me if he's dead."

The Doctor gave the twins an apologetic look. He wasn't used to all this domestic stuff. Sure, he had the kids, but he knew the order of things. It wasn't often things surprised him these days, because the unexpected had become so routine.

Shy had been right. Rose was already shaking things up.

He spun, to spot the head melting, and he cursed in a language he knew the TARDIS didn't dare translate.

"They probably kept him alive," Gav offered, stepping around him. "They'd want the body...the memories."

"I think I've got it!" the Doctor said, flipping a lever.

When they landed, he looked at the three of them.

"Say something comforting," Shy whispered, nudging his side.

The Doctor glanced down at her.

"Right," he said, nodding. "Um, he… Gav is probably right. He's most likely fine."

He wouldn't let his mind grumble about how she had a boyfriend in the first place. There was that pesky bigger picture, hovering just outside those doors.

"Signal!" he reminded himself, running past them and out of the TARDIS.

They followed- well, Rose did. Shy and Gav stayed behind after telling her.

"They, uh… said they were staying inside," she said to the Doctor once she caught up, looking around. "We've moved, Does it fly?"

"Not exactly," he said. "It's complicated. You wouldn't understand."

"What makes you think I won't understand," she asked.

He looked her over, and then shook his head. "It's complicated," he repeated.

DW

She watched him. The stubbornness, the unwillingness to let her in or to explain was almost radiating off him into the air.

She decided to let it go. Right now, it wasn't important. She had to trust that Mickey was alive somewhere, and she wouldn't have to explain to anyone what had happened to him.

She took a moment, and asked him about his accent, and he blew her off there as well. She decided once more, for the time being, to let it go. She supposed he wasn't wrong. Lots of planets probably did have a North.

"So… what does this living plastic want to do with us?" she asked. "Have we done something wrong?"

"Oh, no," he said, smiling and tapping the anti-plastic he produced. "You've done everything it likes. That's why it's here. We can stop it, Rose. But first we have to find it."

"And how do we do that?" she asked, looking around for a clue she might be missing.

Something had brought them here, after all.

"We need to find the transmitter," he said. "It'll be something big and round."

"Big and round," Rose repeated, looking around.

After a moment, she pointed at the London Eye.

"Would that be it?" she asked, as he turned around and then faced her again.

"That would be it," he agreed. "Let's go!"

He flashed her a grin, and they took off, running for it. She wondered why the twins had stayed inside, but she thought it might be this-because this was thrilling, and for just a moment, in the cool air, it was just the two of them, racing to save the world. It was something that she could easily become addicted to, and she thought maybe that's what they were giving her.

It was a chance to fall in love, with the danger, with the thrill.

DW

Gav sat on the jumpseat waiting. He had no doubt that their father would sort it all out, he always did. And though a part of him longed to be out there, with them, he knew that this was better.

His father was a stubborn man. The sort that would let the same girl fall through his fingers, over and over, until she finally decided she had enough.

But Shy had agreed with him. That wasn't going to happen. They were going to step in. They just needed Rose to see the thrill, for her to want to see more. They needed her to come along, not because they were unhappy, but because there was always room for more.

Plus, their father wanted her around, and that was enough for him to miss out on saving the Earth- this once anyway.

"Did you feel that?" Shy asked, as the TARDIS shifted. She quickly stood up, as he did, closing his book. She looked over the monitor. "We've moved. Not by choice."

Gav flipped the screen, so he could see what was going on outside. "Looks like Dad's in trouble," he said.

"Should we… go out?" Shy asked, looking at the door.

He believed Rose was capable, but he knew that he couldn't live with himself if something happened to their father when they were so close to helping.

"Yeah," he agreed, bursting out of the doors, and looking down at their father.

"I had this handled," the Doctor said, with his arms pulled behind his back.

"Right," Shy said, drawing out the I. "'Course you did."

The room shook around them, and there wasn't a good way down to him.

A man was clinging to Rose's leg, the boyfriend, Gav guessed. But Rose pulled away from him, heading over to a chain. Gav smiled. She had found a way, one even they hadn't seen.

She grabbed it tightly, and swung down to him, knocking the dummies into the Nestene consciousness. The anti-plastic fell in with them, much to Gav's relief- until the roof started to collapse around them.

DW

The Doctor looked at Rose, and blinked. She had come down here, and saved him. The twins were up there and safe, and he knew they really had to go, so he forced his feet to move, and he took her hand.

He quickly got them up to the TARDIS, the doors opening for him, as he piled them in. The Doctor ran for the console, flipping levers quickly, getting them away from the falling building.

His hearts were beating wildly, and his stomach hadn't settled yet. That was much closer to losing that fight than he had planned when going in there, and he wasn't quite sure what he would have done if something worse had happened.

He had wanted to save the Earth, and he had. But he had nearly lost himself, the kids, Rose, and Rose's boyfriend. That was too close, way too close.

When he landed, Mickey ran from the TARDIS, as if it were on fire. Rose gave the Doctor a small nod, following Mickey out. The Doctor looked over at the twins, and they were staring.

"Go on," Shy said.

"Ask her," Gav finished.

And he did, because he couldn't imagine telling himself 'no' for one more minute. He had to bring her along, and he was so thankful, when after a pause, she said yes. Because this life was wonderful with three, but he thought four might be that much better.


	9. Chapter 9

The Doctor had known, shortly before he had pressed the button to remove the store from the world that he was going to get his girl that dress. He lacked a lot of things, he wasn't a lot of things, and most days he wasn't certain if he had only dreamed he had ever been those few things he thought he was.

He knew for a fact though, that as long as he had his kids around to make him want to try harder, he was going to follow through. He realized with startling clarity as they had shuffled off to bed, that he often failed Shy. That she and Gav had never been to a ball.

They did things he liked, fixing the TARDIS, seeing the sights. And while he tried to give them the freedom to find themselves, that wasn't the same as giving them ever opportunity to do so. Shy had the garden, he and Gav had the TARDIS. They had the lab, and common interests. But Shy was moving away, in a direction farther from his son

He couldn't be a mother. No matter the love in his hearts, he couldn't be anyone that he wasn't. And he couldn't bring their mother back to them. But maybe Rose was a start. Not because she was a motherly figure, but because she was a new piece to a puzzle that had been pretending it was whole for much too long.

Shy could use a friend, and if Rose was ever going to last, she was going to have to get along with the twins, at the very least. He hoped for more though.

He would love to see friendship bloom in the TARDIS, for all of their sakes/them.

The Doctor smiled over at Rose, as they walked through the store.

He had landed them early in the day. Much before Rose would come into work, he had made sure. Some part of him thought he ought to do this alone, but Rose had been much too excited to sleep- at least that's what she claimed.

And he didn't mind her coming along. He wouldn't complain for/about a few more minutes with her at his side. What he felt, he couldn't define. It was as dangerous as it was thrilling, and he tried to pretend his palms always sweated when he took a short walk across the street. He lied to himself, pretending his hearts usually raced with effort of pulling open the door, and letting someone else walk through.

He followed her through, looking around at the clothes. Clothes shopping wasn't a normal thing for him. The TARDIS had the wardrobe, and a few times, the kids had gone off on their own. Well, he claimed they were on their own, but he was never far away.

This was different, though. It was bigger. A new step.

He led Rose over to the dresses, quickly spotting the one that Shy had found right away. He looked it over. It wasn't a bad dress, but he wished it was a bit longer. He wished it covered a bit more, but he knew that he was being ridiculous and picked it up.

Shy was a smart girl, and he knew that she was capable of taking care of herself. If this was the dress she wanted, then it was the one that she was going to get.

He hung it over his arm in an awkward fashion, looking around for a section that would contain shoes.

"What are we doing, exactly?" Rose asked.

"We're preparing for a ball," he said, quickly snapping back from his thoughts. They often shifted with ease, and now was no exception. He looked at Rose, deciding that she too would be in need of a new dress. "Go on, pick one out for yourself. We'll all go."

"I couldn't," Rose said, looking over the dresses closest to her.

He smiled at her, at her hesitation, and nodded to her.

"Go on, I think you can," he said.

Rose moved around, leaving the Doctor leaning there and waiting. He wasn't staring, not exactly. But he noticed. He noticed how her hair- blonde, even if it wasn't natural- touched her shoulders. Her clothing wasn't fancy, but it seemed to suit her, and made him smile.

He didn't think Rose was like the others, in the past. Or maybe it was him that was different. It was too hard to tell, with the years, and the mileage. But he was glad that she was here, right now. If it didn't last, if he regretted it all in a few months, or years, right now, he felt happy.

And when she picked up a blue dress, holding it up to her and asking his opinion. He couldn't help but smile wider, because this was something. He didn't know what yet, but it was worth exploring, like the best things in life are.

DW

Rose walked back to the Doctor, holding the dress to her chest. She let out a yawn, feeling tiredness finally tugging against her brain. They had done a lot, and she hadn't slept overly well…last night? It was hard to say, now. Time, she imagined, would be harder to get a grasp on, than it had been in the past.

The Doctor smiled back at her, pushing a key into the TARDIS door. He turned it, and they walked back in. Rose wasn't shocked this time, but it was still impressive. The size of it all. So much, in a little box that appeared to be nothing at all.

"I'll show you to your room," the Doctor said, shifting Shy's dress to his other arm. "You can get a bit of rest, before we do anything else."

Rose wanted to protest, but as another yawn worked its way out, she knew that he wouldn't believe any argument she came up with. She was still excited, all this was buzzing through her brain more than any alcohol ever had.

He led her off down the hall, stopping outside of a plain looking door. He nodded to it.

"This'll be your room. Shy and Gav are just down the hall," the Doctor said. "And you can shout if you need anything. Think you can manage to find your way back to the console room?"

She nodded, though she felt a bit unsure. She hadn't been paying close enough attention, lost in a haze of excitement and exhaustion.

"Where is your room?" Rose asked, before shaking her head.

She hadn't meant to ask. She knew how it sounded, and that wasn't what she had meant at all. He blinked at her, clearly surprised by the question.

"It's around," the Doctor said, firmly, but not unkindly.

Rose nodded, opening the door and walking in. She closed the door softly behind her, and laid the dress over the back of the chair, and turned to look at her new room. Her new home


	10. Chapter 10

Shy rolled over. It was too early in the morning for her to be awake, but she was awake. Her eyes kept settling on the gold dress, hanging neatly, and she couldn't help but smile every time she saw it. It was hers, and while she never considered herself a lover of dresses and things that people often associated with being feminine- however ignorant that all might be- she loved this dress. And really she was only one regeneration away from a whole new gender, and she thought she should experience this side of things while she had the desire to.

And a real ball, with real people. For hours, not just minutes. Sure, she had just been to Earth, but that wasn't fun. There wasn't a chance to dance, and mingle, and learn about other lives, and loves, and hopes. She couldn't wait.

She rolled onto her back, looking up at the ceiling and letting out a small sigh. Her dad had told her that they'd take Rose on a little adventure, first. Somewhere to show her what it was all about, and then they'd figure out a time to dance.

She could wait. She had time. Lifetimes, no matter how impatient she found herself, she wasn't running so much as crawling along this timeline. This dress, this ball they were to attend was as big as it was small in her universe, but she wanted to live it. She knew she might not have the same desires the next time around.

Shy started to sit up, just as she heard a scream. She threw back her covers, certain where it had come from, and raced across the room. The floor was warm against her bare feet, and when she opened the door, there was a wave of warm air washing over her. She took a deep breath, hurrying into her father's room that was now across the hall.

He would be mortified if he knew that Rose had heard, because she knew that he didn't want to taint her with his past just yet. She could hear his lingering thoughts, left in the air, because he hadn't been bothered to filter them. Rose knowing his past wasn't something he was ready to face yet.

DW

Rose jerked her head up, looking around the room, her heart thudding inside her chest. She had heard a scream, she was certain, but now there was only silence- save the faint hum she had already come to associate with the TARDIS.

She pushed her damp hair back from her forehead, laying back down again. Maybe it hadn't been a scream at all, she decided. Maybe it had simply been something inside her head, something a little loose from all that she had discovered in such a short time period.

She laughed quietly, waiting for something else to seem out of place, but her brain was functioning properly, if a little under slept. She couldn't stand sitting still any longer, so she didn't. She straightened the clothes from the day before, wishing she had thought to bring another outfit with her.

She hadn't thought, though. It seemed like such a big moment, and that it was too fragile to think of silly things like packing clothes, and necessities. Now, she wished she had. Still, she could probably talk the Doctor into stopping by home- at least she hoped that she could.

She let out a sigh, and went into the bathroom, turning on the light. She found shower supplies, and with a smile, undressed and stepped inside.

It couldn't be so bad, she decided, if they had a proper shower. And warm water, and fruity shampoo, and a feeling of home, was all she needed to settle her worries for the time being.

DW

The Doctor had been grateful to find Shy rescuing him from his nightmares, hoping he hadn't woken Rose. When he was certain that he wasn't going to be returning to his sleep, he headed off into the kitchen, pulling out supplies. He didn't cook so often in this body, but the skills still were somewhere in his head.

He managed when it was just the kids and him, at least he had before they started easy meals. He knew that he should sit them down andhave meals at the table, but it seemed like they always scattered before he could make the suggestion. But not this morning, not now.

He'd have them all sitting down.

He sighed, mixing the eggs into the batter, before reaching up and rubbing his head. The nightmares had a way of causing a lingering ache, that wouldn't subside until he was thoroughly distracted.

That's why there would be no ball today. He didn't want to upset Shy, but he couldn't do it now, like this. They needed an adventure, something to show Rose all that this life was capable of bringing- well, maybe not everything- not the bad, yet, he hoped.

He looked up as Gav shuffled into the room, smiling at him and reaching for a banana.

"No," he said, shaking his head and moving the bowl of fruit away. "A real breakfast today, all of us. At the table."

Shy followed Gav in, before flopping down in a chair.

"Trying to impress someone?" she asked, a picture of innocence, though he knew that she was grinning in her mind.

"Don't act like I've never cooked for you two," he said, pointing the spoon at her. "I'm insulted."

Shy held her hands up, with a small laugh. "Fine, fine," she said. "If you say so."

He waited for Rose to walk into the room, as his patience wore thin, and breakfast started to cool. When at last she did, it was all he could do to remain in his chair and seem passive.

"Breakfast," Shy said, pointing at the food on the table, and taking the opportunity to pile up her plate.

Rose smiled gratefully, and settled into the chair.

They didn't talk though. No one said a word, and he kept opening his mouth to start a stimulating conversation, only to close it again when his mind failed to provide suggestions.

He looked around at all of them, wanting to force something he was starting to realize would come at its own time. So he simply sighed, and gathered up the empty dishes.

"Shoes on," he instructed. "Meet me in the console room."

The Doctor put the dishes in the sink, and when he turned around, the three of them were gone.

DW

Gav stood with his hands shoved into his pockets, leaning against a strut. He tried not to yawn, frustrated with the lack of sleep he had been experiencing.

Years ago, their father had taught them to build boundaries in their minds, to block him out, to block others out. But the last week or so, their fathers nightmares had picked up, to the point if he-or Shy- slept, they couldn't block out the horrors of their father's past.

So, for the most part they hadn't been sleeping. He looked over at his sister, who didn't seem to be any worse for wear, and he fought back another yawn.

He had wanted to talk to their father, even before they had met Rose. He had wanted to sit him down, and talk to him about the sudden increase in the torment they were all sharing, but Shy had refused. And it had confused him.

Gav was certain, that if they just dealt with it, they'd be sleeping again, but when she wouldn't budge, he had decided to wait- even if it didn't make him happy.

He crossed his arms, looking over as his father entered the room, watching him. He didn't seem exhausted, though he had to be by now. He had been trying to sleep every night, but Gav knew it couldn't have been restful.

Still, he was smiling. And Shy was smiling, and then Rose was too. And he couldn't help the smile that found its way to his lips. He didn't have a lot of energy, but there was excitement in the air and he pushed himself up to move closer.

"Alright, Rose Tyler," the Doctor said, grinning at her. "Where would you like to go?"


	11. Chapter 11

Rose stepped out of the TARDIS. She was as nervous as she was excited, looking around the room slowly. The twins followed the Doctor out, and he shut the door behind them all.

She felt like there should be words, something to express her gratitude- and her fear, but she couldn't find them. Instead, she shuffled over to the large glass, looking down.

She was looking at the Earth, right there below them. She had never seen it like this, never imagined that she would, because she never imagined anything like this could really be out there.

And this far in the future, her home still stood. Right there, a whole big picture, that she was unable to touch. It made her homesick, but happy at the same time, because it still existed, way beyond her and her years.

"You lot," the Doctor said, softly. "Spend all your time thinking about what's going to kill you, that you never really stop to think about the impossible."

She saw a smile flash across Shy's face, for a fleeting moment.

"What's the impossible?" Rose asked.

"That you survive," the Doctor said, nodding to the Earth. "Rose, this is the year 5.5/apple/26. It's five billion years into your future."

"And what are we doing here?" Rose asked, glancing at him, and then back at the view.

"Today is the day that the sun expands," Shy said, glancing at her father now, her brow wrinkled. He looked away. "The end of the world."

Rose opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again. When she had thought of adventure, it hadn't had anything to do with watching the Earth's final moments. It shouldn't be so sad, she knew, not really. The Earth had so many years after her, this shouldn't feel like something that was being ended too soon.

But it was sad, to her.

And when he stepped away, she followed, the twins just behind them. They were talking in low voices, and she got the impression they didn't want to be overheard. The Doctor wasn't quite waiting on her or the twins, but she moved faster to keep up.

Overhead, there was an announcement about a guest, and she glanced up at the Doctor. He didn't exactly look like he wanted to talk, despite the smile he had been wearing in the TARDIS. When they had stepped out, looked at the Earth, it seemed like a different mood had swept over him suddenly.

But she wasn't spending the rest of the day in silence, not when she had questions. Not when he had chosen to bring her here, of all places.

"So..." she started. "Guest means people, yeah?"

"Sort of." Gav said, closing the gap between the Doctor and her and them.

"What does sort of mean?" Rose asked, thankful for the conversation. Even with the announcement, the sort of mechanical hum- that wasn't comforting like the TARDIS- it still seemed overly quiet.

"Aliens," Shy said. "They're aliens, so... Maybe not people like you're thinking."

"Right," Rose said, the Doctor simply nodding. "So, what are we here for?" she asked, looking at the three of them.

"Fun," the Doctor said, nodding, before heading off again.

DW

He wasn't sure why he brought them here. Somewhere between his need to impress her and the ache in his soul, this is where he found himself. And she had seemed impressed, at least at first.

They could still walk away, really. Get back on the TARDIS, fly somewhere that wasn't likely to lead to feelings or regret. They could spend the day in laughter, and not have to realize what this universe was really like for a little bit longer. Rose would be an excellent lie, helping the others to believe for a bit.

He knew that's what he should do, but his feet kept moving. He chose not to think about what that might say about him, or his feelings at the moment.

She was still following him though, he hadn't lost her yet. So, even if he couldn't make himself leave, maybe he could salvage this trip.

"I thought the sun expanding took hundreds of years," Rose said, looking him over.

"It does," he agreed, slowing slightly and looking at her. "Millions, really, in your sun's case. It's been preserved."

"Why?" Rose asked.

"Sentiment, I'd imagine," Shy said, glancing at her father and then looking away.

The Doctor knew he should say something to them. To all of them.

"Are we going to stop it then?" Rose asked, sounding so hopeful. "Like step in, and keep it preserved."

The hope in her voice was almost enough to break him, but he managed to hold himself together.

"We can't do that, Rose," he said, as gently as he could manage. "It's had its time."

Rose looked a little lost. If he could, he thought he might save it, just for her, but he wasn't going to destroy history for one little human, whom he barely knew. He was dangerous, but maybe not that much anymore.

"It's empty," Shy said. "Has been for quite some time. It's just...Oceans and land now."

"It was my home," Rose said. "Don't you understand?"

Shy looked away. "Not really," she said, softly. "Sorry."

Rose watched her, and the Doctor shook his head, moving them forward.

"I can't be the only one left," Rose protested, looking him over.

It felt like drowning, but the Doctor's feet were still planted firmly on the ground

"No, course not," he said, shaking his head, moving into the next room. "There are others. Not on Earth anymore, but you humans never really stop spreading out. Learning, and growing. Surviving."

She nodded, as they were stopped. A man was coming towards them, his lips drawn into a tight line.

"Who the hell are you four?" he asked, sounding disgusted.

"Little ears," the Doctor protested, feeling more annoyed than offended.

"Oh, cause we've never heard that word before," Shy muttered.

"We are expecting the guest any minute," the man continued, as if he hadn't heard them. "You need to leave."

"Guest!" the Doctor said, brightly, and he dug into his jacket pocket. Rose jumped at his outburst, and he flashed her a real smile. "That's us."

He felt around, digging deeper than he should have had to, before his fingers found the psychic paper.

The man was watching him, looking doubtful, but he waited until the Doctor flashed it open.

"See," the Doctor said, watching as his words reached the man's brain. "I'm the Doctor, Rose is my guest. And the kids, of course."

"Well," the man said, as the Doctor stuffed the paper back into his pocket. "I suppose if you're on board, we better get started."

The Doctor watched him walk away, smiling at them.

"When do we get some psychic paper?" Gav asked. "I can think of at least five instances that it would have come in handy, Dad."

"Great responsibility and all," the Doctor said, patting his shoulder, and moving forward as the worker announced that everyone should report to their stations.

DW

Shy followed them into the other room, looking around. They were in the first group of people there, only workers filling up the room so far. They moved off, closer to the glass, while she crossed her arms.

She fought back a yawn, and then another. She tried to pretend she wasn't tired, but her brain was fighting the lack of normal sleep, and it was getting harder to hide.

Gav was right about talking to him, she was certain, but she wasn't ready to do it yet. Maybe when they get home tonight. She definitely wanted to pull him aside and ask him why he thought this was the most appropriate spot for a first adventure.

Gav tugged her arm, and they moved farther away from the Doctor and Rose.

"What are you thinking about?" Gav asked, watching as guest names were read off, and they entered the room.

"I'm thinking this is a lousy way to celebrate the end of someone's world," Shy said, lowering her arms.

"You don't think a party is the right way to say goodbye?" Gav asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Do you?" she asked, digging in her pocket after realizing they were expected to have gifts. "It'd be nicer if he told us stuff like this beforehand... He's not exactly prepared."

"Oh!" Gav said, grinning. "Don't worry about that, I always have presents."

He dug out a stack of books, and Shy read the spine on them all. They were all the same book, and he handed one to everyone as they walked by, as Shy accepted the other gifts, including the spit that she had to wipe from her face as soon as it was acceptable.

For being a traveler she still felt awkward, unsure of herself. Gav, however, seemed right at home.

"See!" he said, proudly as he handed off his last book. "You just have to be prepared for anything, and then you can handle everything."

"I'm thinking about hating you," she said, as she moved farther away, closer to the window.

Gav let out a huff, and followed after her.

"Check out the newest entry," he said, nodding as the final guest was wheeled in. A flab of talking skin.

Shy felt ill listening to this Cassandra speaking. She wasn't sure how much of her lies were intentional, but they were plentiful, and she found herself growing angrier with every word.

She certainly couldn't call herself the last human, there wasn't anything human left about her. Shy wondered what Rose was feeling, and felt certain that she too was disgusted as Rose stormed out of the room.

The Doctor shot them a glance, and narrowed his eyes in warning.

They were to stay. They were to wait. Shy turned, facing out the window and sighing. She could wait. Time, they had, after all. It was the Earth thatwas running out of time, not them.


	12. Chapter 12

The Doctor looked down at the little card that had been handed to him. The TARDIS had been moved, and while it made him leery, he had come to accept that it happened from time to time. He tried to shove his suspicion down among the other piles of debris that made up the recessions of his mind, and turned around.

He put the card into his pocket, wondering how the twins were coming along, but knowing that Rose needed him more right now. They were two capable teenagers, who at least had a heart start on the chaos that made up their days.

The Doctor made his way down the hall, turning and digging out his sonic. He looked down at the blue end, before pointing it away from him, and flipping it on. Her signal was easy enough to pick up, and he slid the device back into the inside of his jacket-laying against his chest, close to his heart.

He did treasure the device, at least in this body.

He moved down to the door, it sliding open. He stepped inside, Rose glanced over at him. She was holding the plant, and looking slightly embarrassed. She sat it off to the side, as he came in and sat down.

This was one of those times he fought to bring up something from the past. Some good advice, or gentle words, but they were always just out of reach. Not forgotten, but somehow unattainable. He shifted, adjusting his jacket, and wondering how he should start a conversation he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to participate in.

He felt tiny in her shadow, weak in his courage. She'd not stood where he had stood, not done what he had done, and that made her more and less, and something he shouldn't be trying so hard to reach, to save, to learn from.

"Well?" he finally heard himself ask. "What do you think?"

She looked him over, careful eyes falling on his face, and then glancing out the window to where her world was counting to its end. Bringing her here was an awful idea, and he was feeling guilty all over again.

"It's strange," she said, not making eye contact. "I guess I just wasn't expecting everything to be so alien."

He followed her gaze out the window, unsure of what to say to shrink all that made up his universe into something that was small enough for her to grasp. For a moment, he felt too big for her little world. But that was why she was here. That's why he had asked her along- at least one of the many reasons- because he believed in her. Right from the start. That she could be something more, see the universe as something large and changing and beautiful and not tiny, and full of the turmoil that was everywhere.

"It is," he finally agreed. "I know it is."

If the twins were here, they'd have something else to add. Encouragement, something gentle and coming from their four little hearts that kept his two beating to this day. But they weren't and the air went silent and still.

He'd have begged her not to ask her next question, if he had caught her in advance.

"Where are you all from?" she asked, turning more to look at him. "I mean, you and the kids. I know you're not from Earth, but you've never really said."

"We're...sort of just travelers," he said. "We don't settle much of anywhere."

"Oh," she said. There was a pause, he heard her drawing in a breath, surely unsheathing the words that would cause his temper to erupt, or shatter his facade. He felt his breath get caught somewhere between his lungs and his mouth, and he wasn't sure if he only imagined the slightly wheezing noise he produced.

"How come everyone speaks English?" she asked, instead.

He felt himself relax, his shoulders slowly sinking down again. He leaned back, turning to look at her, forcing a smile. He felt extreme relief, faking a smile wasn't so hard anymore.

"You just hear English," he said, proudly. "It's a telepathic field. Gets inside your mind, and it translates."

She blinked, and he felt himself rising up before the anger had even reached her face.

Any tension that might have been easing, quickly bunched back up, and he felt his defenses go to high alert.

"You let it get inside my brain!" she accused, standing up, and glaring down at him.

He clenched his jaw, and relaxed his hands, trying to remember. This was Rose. She didn't understand. He just had to make her understand. Then they could move on with their day, it was simple as that. It had to be a simple as that.

"It's not like that," he said. "I mean...I didn't realize it would upset you."

She rolled her eyes, and he felt anger threatening to light a fuse that was already too short.

"Yeah," she said, standing up.

DW

Rose watched him, wanting answer, needing answers. She knew that he probably hadn't even thought of telling her, maybe she was just supposed to expect things like this, when she jumped into a time travelling box with a total stranger.

And that was the problem, wasn't it?

The stranger part. The part where she hadn't fully thought about it until right now. About how the Doctor, as dangerous and wonderful as he seemed, was still just a stranger. The twins, though they seemed lovely, were the same sort of mystery.

And if something happened to her, she had no one to blame. She had left Mickey in the street, to run to him. This man who wouldn't give her a planet where he came from, who dodged her questions as if she was throwing daggers right as his heart.

"Who are you," she said, hoping it sounded gentler. Hoping a change in tone, might incite an answer. Something from him, that wasn't just another step to avoid any sort of truth with her.

"I'm just the Doctor," he said, rising up. His anger didn't seem soothed, his jaw tight, his clenched.

She was scared, but she found it wasn't really of him after all. He stayed where he was, making no move to threaten her. He was defiant, but not in a way that made her fear him. She was scared of what she didn't know, the way it hung in the air around him, and she couldn't find a way from the questions she had to the answers she needed.

"Tell me who you are," she begged.

She could see the anger flare in his eyes, the tightness of his shoulders. She regretted the words as soon as she asked him.

"This is who I am right now!" he said. "All that counts is the me I am right now, and this is me!"

She took a step back, her heart thudding. It wasn't the anger that surprised her, it was the hurt, the desperation. The fact that he needed that to be enough, and she knew nothing of his past, and her future was a big pile of haze and potential danger, but he needed her. At least for this moment, he needed someone aside from the twins to believe that he was a good man.

She watched him slip past her, down to the window. He stared out, his back tight. She sighed, and took a cautious step forward.

He drew her in, even in this moment. Even when she was scared of what was coming, scared that she wasn't up to the life he was asking her to live, but right now, this was what she wanted.

When she reached his side his arms were crossed, he glanced at her. She took in a slow breath, and looked out the window.

"Okay," she said. "As my mate Shareen says, don't argue with the designated driver."

She thought she saw the beginning of a smile. It brought up hope in her, and she took a step closer.

"Can't call I taxi, can I?" she asked, pulling out her phone.

He looked over at her, fully now. And then gently took the phone. She smiled, watching as he took the back off, making some adjustments. His shoulders relaxed, and for a moment, she felt like they were okay. That was a start.

He handed it back, and the first thing she did was dial her mother. Her voice was amazing, so far away from her, but right there. Home was something attainable once more, and she sighed in relief. She didn't talk long, but she felt immensely better. More human, less like her world was about to burn in front of her eyes.

"Thanks," she said, softly.

He simply nodded. She looked back out the window, as the space station seemed to shudder around them.

"That's not a gravitation pocket!" he said, suddenly animated, and took off.

And she followed, as she suspected she always would.


	13. Chapter 13

Gav looked down at the world below him. Green and browns, patched with whites and much blue, beautiful and striking. Soon, it would be nothing.

He glanced at his sister, whose eyes were steady on the Earth, but her mind was somewhere far beyond it. Sometimes he could sensejust how lost she was to the universe, to him and his father. Sometimes, he didn't know if she was running so hard and fast from them, that her mind couldn't bear the thought of staying present... or if she was trying so hard to return to what they had been before they had grown up, she didn't know how to express that she couldn't quite keep up with her surroundings.

Sometimes, he was lost too. Thinking of a place that could only ever be wispy around the edges, and incomplete in the middle.

There were nights, in the darkness when sleep didn't have a tight hold on him, whenhe thought of a smile that was reflected in Shy's. He'd think he remembered the gentle tone of his mother's voice, and a kiss pressed to his head.

He'd been angry she hadn't stayed. That she had left them behind, when they were so young and needed her as much as they had. He had argued the reasons, and had argued with himself too many times to keep an accurate count. But it never brought her back.

Shy let out a small sigh, and he reached out, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. They were lucky, really. Home was anywhere. It was countless planets, moons. It was anywhere the sun was rising, and their feet longed to touch.

And most importantly, it was the family they had built up around a broken structure.

He sighed, opening his mouth to speak, when the station shuddered around them.

DW

Rose hurried on after the Doctor, her breath coming quick, despite the short distance they had run. Her heart was beating wildly, but she knew it was the thrill that had drawn her to this family -to him- in the first place. And she wasn't sure if she was scared, but she knew it buzzed around in her brain, and it was already addicting.

There was a part of her that ached at the thought that Earth would soon be gone. But there was another part that realized this was what being alive felt like. Breathing a bit too fast, with a racing that she was real, and somewhere back home, her mother was fine. And Rose was fine. And that was a consolation right now.

They hurried back into the room, and she didn't look out at the Earth beyond. Instead, she focused on the twins as they rushed over.

They remained silent, for the moment, and she waited as well.

Jabe approached at once, and the Doctor turned from Rose.

"What do you think?" he asked Jabe, leaning in to hear her answer.

Rose tried to pretend it didn't sting. She wanted to believe he had simply been seeking out another opinion, but she could understand the truth.

She didn't know anything. And she had already shown how deeply she was struggling to even come to terms with the simplest parts of this.

Maybe he was protecting her, or maybe he had decided that she wasn't ready, and that she never would be ready.

"We should check it out," Gav said, moving for the door already.

Jabe nodded, and headed after. The Doctor looked at her, and then at Shy.

"Stay here with Rose, love," he said, before pressing a kiss to Shy's head, and hurrying out of the room with the others.

Rose stared at where he had been standing just then, then shook herself. She'd get a handle on this, because she sure didn't want to go back to normal.

DW

He didn't want Gav to come along, but he didn't argue as they moved on down the hall. As much as he had wished he had stayed, he also found himself glad the boy was at his side.

He kept the Doctor focused. Jabe was walking along with them, a sharp eye on their surroundings. The Doctor wasn't sure if she wanted an adventure, or if she was simply looking to help. He knew though, that he wasn't going to waste any time trying to figure it out. She was welcome.

"What do you think it was?" Gav asked, looking ahead of them as they pressed on.

"Nothing good," the Doctor said, and shook his head. "But we're here to stop it."

"No one is working here?" Gav asked, after another moment.

The Doctor stopped, looking over at him.

"Good point," the Doctor said, turning to Jabe, who looked at them both, and shook her head.

"No, no need," she said. "It's all automated, nothing can go wrong."

She said it with such conviction, his stomach flopped.

"Unsinkable, then," Gav said, with a sigh.

"That worked so well the last time," the Doctor muttered.

He didn't think about that night, refused to, but shivered all the same.

DW

Shy turned, leaning against the window. She had to be imagining it, but it felt warm beneath her bare skin, and she leaned her head against it. If she could soak up the imagined heat, maybe she would feel something more.

She closed her eyes for a moment, willing the universe to stop. She'd let Rose keep her world, let her family stay here and safe and whole if she had her way. Though...she knew things could be done. Dark things, she didn't dare fully think about, nor ever believe she was capable of doing.

Wishful thinking though, she was full of that.

After a moment, she pulled her eyes back open. Her head ached at the voices that clawed at the walls she had so carefully built. And Cassandra was screaming, surprisingly loud for someone who seemed to be so little.

"What do you think of Cassandra?" she asked, trying to pull Rose's attention from the end of the world.

Rose glanced over, at the laughing bit of skin. Shy could see who she used to be, but she didn't mention it to Rose. She didn't think she'd be able to explain why.

"Why would someone do something like that?" Rose asked. "I can't understand it."

Shy shrugged.

"Can't accept change, I suppose," Shy said.

She thought about regeneration for a moment. Of new faces and voices, and quirks. And she longed to say something to Rose, but once more, she didn't. Cassandra hadn't made all these changes to stay alive, and in Shy's mind it made all the difference.

"They're out there, right?" Rose asked. "The Humans? She's not really the last."

Shy smiled gently.

"They're out there, Rose," she said. "Oh, you humans. You've touched so many places. You'll always be out there."

It took a moment, but Rose smiled.

"Think it's safe to go for a walk?" she asked. "I won't go too far."

Shy nearly said no. She was certain that if something happened to Rose, the Doctor would struggle to forgive her. But if she knew anything about the life they were living is that coddling Rose would only hurt her in the end. She needed to be caught if she failed, not trapped before she could find out if she had what it took.

So Shy turned back to the window, ignoring the low hiss of the door as Rose made her exit.

She'd wait here until someone returned. Ready to run, but willing to stand still.


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: This is going to go a bit...well, a lot differently from now on. In the beginning, I wanted this to follow along with the show, with the added bonus of the twins. The trouble with that was always changing enough without changing too much to satisfy what people were interested in reading. I've decided however now that I want to write it as new stories. With the twins. It gives me more freedom and I hope it will spark the desire to write about this family again. The time frame, will still be more or less along with the series, and there will still be a regeneration, of nine to ten. So, this next chapter, will be after The End of the World, after of course. Anyone who has seen it already knows the story, and anyone who doesn't will have to either watch the original or live in wonder :) Anyway, I hope the change is a good one, and I thank you all for your support and comments. It means the world to me.

 

 

The TARDIS shields blocked out the cold isolation of the expanse before him. It also kept the air inside, wrapped around him as tightly as it was also flying free. Gav hung his feet out, naming distant objects, trying to settle his mind.

Death was always a part of life. In the end there was nothing it wouldn't sweep in to claim. Normally, he didn't think about it. It was in the future, it was far away, but some days it was closer than he cared for at all. Losing Jabe was not okay.

It hung around his father's shoulders,to the point where Gav could nearly see the stoop in his back.

"Gav?" Rose asked, coming in softly behind him.

He could hear her breathing, soft and calm. Her voice was filled with sleep, and he didn't want to turn. He didn't want to see her rumpled by an unfamiliar sleep cycle and looking as vulnerable as he knew she really was. Because losing her, and it would happen, was going to cost them so much.

"Hello, Rose," he said, sighing softly. He rubbed his hands on his trousers, and turned to look at her.

She shuffled over, looking out the doors. After a moment, she sat beside him.

"Are you alright?" she asked, looking over.

He let out a small humorless laugh, and returned his gaze to the space before him.

"Gav," she said, touching his arm gently.

"It's not fair," he said, looking at her. The events of the day bubbled up, exploding over his lips in a stream he didn't attempt to stop. "I mean, you know life isn't fair. You know that, but it's really not. She didn't deserve that, and it's all because one bitter woman couldn't accept change. And they're all over, Rose. You can never outrun them, and as much as Dad tries, he can never keep us from them all. People... are dangerous, and cold, and... sometimes it's hard to forget how good they are too."

"I know," Rose said, softly.

He couldn't explain it, not really, but he imagined she really did.

DW

Rose had fallen asleep quickly, her body so willing to give into its needs even though her mind was full enough to keep her up for some time. She couldn't linger in the rest, however, and she found herself wandering the hall.

She couldn't say what it was that lead her to the console room, perhaps an unseen pull of the ship around her- there was so much she still didn't know about it all. But she did find herself here, and when she saw Gav she knew that she had to stay.

Rose glanced over at him, and then back out at the universe beyond them.

"I'm supposed to feel tiny, right?" she asked, looking at Gav. "Compared to all this?"

"I don't know if you're supposed to feel anything," Gav said, meeting her gaze. "But yeah... That's what people lead you to believe. What do you feel, Rose?"

She looked back out before them. And there was only thing she felt.

"Tired," she admitted, starting to climb to her feet.

He followed after her, reaching out to close the door when the TARDIS shook. The doors slammed shut on their own, narrowly missing Gav's face as he stumbled back.

The ship let out a wheezing noise, lights were flashing in the room around them, an alarm was blaring. And then.. silence. The lights settled, the sickening noise ceased.

Gav looked over at Rose, confusion filling his eyes. He ran his hand through his hair as the Doctor skidded into the room. He was without his jacket; his shirt wrinkled by what Rose assumed had been sleep. He looked them over, but said nothing.

His presence made the pace her heart had taken up increase all the more, and she stepped closer.

"Doctor?" she asked. "What was that?"

"Don't know," he said, reaching up and spinning the monitor over to face him. He turned it on, as Gav moved behind him.

"We haven't landed," Gav said, brow wrinkling up.

"No." the Doctor confirmed, giving the monitor a push. He busied himself looking over the console, as he motioned for Gav to take over the business of checking out the readings on the other side.

Rose looked at the screen before her, but for just a moment, something flashed in the corner of her eye. She said nothing.

DW

The Doctor was prepared for action, his body ready to spring into whatever situation that they were faced with. He was used to thinking on his feet... But here, he saw nothing. The readings were all fine, no matter how many times he checked them over.

Long after Rose and the twins had been sent back to bed, the Doctor flopped himself back on the jump seat, and pulled his feet up onto the console. He looked it over, fighting back the urge to check the reading once more.

He wasn't sure at this point if he was scared he was missing something, or hoping he was.

He finally settled his feet back on the grating and pulled himself up to stand. He gave the console room another good study, and forced himself to walk away.

The Doctor made his way back to his room, heading inside and closing the door softly behind him. He sat down on the edge of the bed, smoothing his hands over the sheets.

There was nothing wrong, he reminded himself as he slid his shoes off and put them side by side near the night stand. There was nothing wrong, he reminded himself as he turned the lights down low and laid back against the bed.

There was nothing wrong, her reminded himself as he closed his eyes.

In the silence of the bedroom, the shadows took in a breath and peeled themselves away from the wall and towards the Doctor.


	15. Chapter 15

Noise was minimal in this machine, but to his heightened hearing, the sound of four lives could be heard quite clearly. Along with the protest of the machine that he and the others had been quick to subdue. It tingled in his brain, a scream that couldn't be forced out to those that needed to hear it.

Rin closed his eyes, and he could see the inhabitants. They were blue in his vision, flames flickering so brightly he almost pulled his pale black lids back up to stop the sight from sinking any deeper into his mind.

Oh, he was jealous, he knew. It had been a long time since he had burned, since the plague had ceased his life, and brought them all back as something... more... less. He was never sure which was the correct word in the end. Maybe, it didn't matter - Soon it wouldn't matter.

The others were in place. With a simple signal, he could put out the flames, and they could begin their work on the heart of this machine. It would be enough to fuel them back to life. He knew it. It had to be enough, it was all that had driven the hope in his people since the day the signal was picked up.

But he wasn't ready yet. Soon, but not until he figured out what it was about this mission that tingled under his skin, and was quickly turning into a lightening hot burn that went beyond the redemption of the Clan.

The ship around them was screaming, he let out a low chuckle. Soon, but not yet. He had time. He had so much time.

DW

There was something in the room, Gav could feel it. It was frigid; his breath had to be making itself seen, though his eyes were too tightly closed to be sure.

He could sense the darkness, somewhere against the far wall, reaching out to him but not touching just yet. In his mind though, he was all too aware of just how small the gap between them really was. His head was beginning to ache, as if he was thinking too many thoughts all at once. And so many were so sinister that he had to remind himself they were not his.

He shifted slowly onto his side, forcing his breathing to stay as even as he could manage. It was twenty steps to the door; if he leapt up he could be there in a few seconds. But he understood that even such a short span would be an eternity to what lay in the darkness.

Running now, to save himself, might cause whatever was here to act. And he thought of Shy, bundled up in her blankets, and wondered if she was aware. He thought of his father, surely awake and filled with the same troubling choices. And he thought of Rose. They had pulled her in, and now it was their job to keep her safe as long as they could manage.

He kept his eyes closed, carefully reaching his mind out to the TARDIS. He'd done this before of course, an exercise done in the privacy of his room, to see just how far he could stretch his abilities. But not like this, not while weaving in and out of the other things that might pick up on his words. He could feel her there though. And as he got closer, he begged her to find a way to save them.

DW

Rose was yanked from sleep, not by a tug but by a weight. It was too much on her chest, but even if she could expand it, she wouldn't have been able to pull in air through the icy grip that had found her throat.

Her eyes were open, and the lights in the room were even on, but before her there was a blackness so deep she couldn't bear looking at it. She closed them again, and tried to fight back.

She reached out, her hands finding something that felt solid before seeming to sink into it. It burned, a coating covering her hands, and she quickly yanked them back out of the creature again.

She was going to die here, she realized. She couldn't last much longer without air, and she couldn't fight this thing off without some help.

But it came. The TARDIS began shaking, and then jerked sharply. The weight was gone, the room brighter. She struggled to gasp in a lungful of air, and forced herself up to sit.

She should be running. Rose knew that, but she could barely draw in a breath, and knew running was far beyond what she was capable of doing right now. The door handle jiggled, and she quickly looked over, but when it was opened it was only the Doctor that rushed in to her side.

"I've got you now," he said, his voice husky.

His voice was a combination of concern and tenderness, the sort he usually only reserved for his children, and she found herself relaxing against the arms he wrapped around her for the briefest of moments.

When he pulled back, Rose wondered if it was the awful wheezing noise that she was making that caused his brow to wrinkle up like it did.

"Can you walk?" he asked, pulling her from the bed with an ease that surprised her.

She nodded, unable to do more than let out another pathetic noise of air. He led her out, holding on to her tightly. His grip seemed warm around her waist, and she leaned against him as much as she dared. He was solid, and she needed the comfort at the moment.

Looking all around, he moved with her down the hall. Rose was certain whatever had attacked her wasn't gone, but for a moment they seemed to be alone here, the TARDIS humming loudly- but beyond that nothing else. Rose wondered where the twins were, but knew they must be safe or he wouldn't be with her right now. They came first.

Rose recognized the door to the med-bay when they reached it, and inside stood Shy and Gav, in pajamas and wide-eyed.

She looked around at the three of them, as the Doctor settled her onto a bed, and hurried off of to the glass cases that held all the supplies, and felt another rush of fear. They were the three bravest people she had ever met, and they all seemed just as frightened as she was.

She had no desire to chase a monster that could draw fear into this family. But as the Doctor turned her once more, and she caught her reflection in the glass, she knew they were the ones being chased.


	16. Chapter 16

If the TARDIS breathed, she'd be struggling for air. Just as Rose had been before the TARDIS had intervened, saving her life... Saving all their lives. Shy looked over at Rose, the bruises covering her skin had been erased by the Doctor's machines, the wheezing noise that had filled the small med-bay fading as well. Everything about that awful moment could have easily been imagined.

Only Shy could still hear it. She could still see the dark marks on light skin, and everything that was being put together was on the verge of being shattered.

They could have lost her today. Hell, it could have been any of them, on the verge of dying- A life burnt up all at once. Everything about this situation should cause panic. She thought it did, knew it did, but that didn't matter. Her father was looking Rose over, his face, expressionless. It all felt a million miles away from her.

Gav wasn't watching her, his eyes on the door, on the floor. Anywhere but on the situation, but she could hear him. His thoughts weren't wild, nothing about him was wild, but they weren't contained. But they didn't matter.

She felt an itch, a desire to ask him if heard the call as well. A soft voice inside her mind, promising that if she came, if she followed all would always be well. It was beyond tempting. It was everything, all consuming and terrifyingly desired.

She couldn't quite get her mouth to open, to form any words at all. Slowly, as the Doctor looked Rose's neck again, she slipped from the bed. Her feet hit the tiles, and the noise seemed to erupt, and her ears ached.

She looked at the others, but no one seemed to notice the noise she was making. So she carried on, each step deafening to her, but unnoticed to anyone else. She thought she'd go mad with the agony of it before she made it the last few steps to the door.

Then she was there. Her exhale was better than any breath she could ever remember taking, and beyond was something- a lie... Or a promise. The words danced, skin to skin, until they were both one. Telling them apart now would be too much, so she didn't bother. The door didn't open before her, but the TARDIS was busy, trying to survive.

So Shy reached out. Her palms were sweating- that was new, her mouth dry. Her tongue felt thick and she wasn't sure if the shaking had made her way from the inside out until she saw her steady fingers.

It felt like a year, a million years- in which the universe breathed and died- but it was seconds until her fingers reached cold metal. She had done it.

"Shy!" the Doctor said, rushing over and pulling her hand back.

His touch burned, but he didn't let go, strong fingers with a gentle grasp held her arm, pulled her closer. He looked her over, and she tried everything she could to get a word out, but nothing would come.

And memories she didn't have were real, and voices- thousands- that she didn't know belonged to her. She was screaming in agony, and they couldn't hear anything.

Then it was gone.

DW

The Doctor caught her as she fell, noticing for the first time a deep bruise on her left arm as it slipped away from her. He pulled her body up to him, and then shifted, pulling her into his arms.

She felt light, small. She felt as fragile as he knew she was, and his stomach was made of lead, his lungs full of something other than air.

"Shy!" Gav called out rushing for them. The Doctor stepped over, laying her down on the bed that she had just been sitting on. Her head lolled to the side, and though her chest was moving, he reached to feel the double pulse. He had to know, to confirm that she was still there.

When he felt the beat, slow but present, he let out a breath. Tears stung in his eyes, and he blinked them back before he could shatter. He had work to do, miles to go. He'd save her, he'd save them all.

Finally he did what he should have from the beginning... He looked her over. All his focus had been on Rose, the twins had seemed fine, and Rose had needed immediate attention. Had he not been able to get her to the med-bay... No, he didn't want to think on that.

Now his daughter lay before him. Seemingly unharmed aside from the hand shaped bruise on her arm, but she was lost to this world for this moment.

He reached out to her head. He'd ask permission if she was there to give it, but he had to know. He touched his fingers against her warm skin and closed his eyes.

He reached out, across the divide of their minds, but where she would normally be... She wasn't. There were walls, and tiny things blocking him, and something that resembled traps that dotted the spaces he wanted to seek out.

She was in there. He knew it, and he had to get to her to pull her out of whatever had her trapped. But getting there now would take far too long; he'd have to wait until they were safe. Rushing it would be too dangerous for them both.

He pulled his hands back, looking down at them and then moving away from her. He didn't want his anger to spill over and touch her.

"Damn it!" he said, slamming his hands against the counter. It stung and the pain renewed his drive. He had a purpose and it was real and in this room. "Gav! Come here!"

His son hurried over, and the Doctor just managed to soften his tone and touch as he looked him over carefully.

"Do you feel okay?" the Doctor asked, tilting Gav's head back and looking into his eyes.

He wanted to check his mind, but didn't. Time was being wasted, and if he could move, they needed to move.

"I'm fine," Gav said, pulling his head away. "Is she going to be okay?"

"I don't know," the Doctor said, wishing he had formed reassurance instead when hurt passed over his son's face. "Promise me you feel okay."

"I do," Gav said, looking at his sister. "I promise. What are we going to do?"

The Doctor looked at him. He didn't know. Rose was healed, but he could see the fear in her eyes. Shy couldn't walk herself out, and an invisible enemy was between them and escape.

But he'd find a way, because after what they'd done and who they had hurt, there was nowhere in this universe they would be able to hide.

DW

Rose ran her fingers over her neck again, barely able to make sense of her escape and healing. She looked around the room, the Doctor whispering to his son, hovering over his daughter. If he could fix her damage, if he could take away the bruises as if they were never there, there had to be something in this room to heal Shy.

She hadn't known her that long, but she was certain that her heart would break if something happened that the girl couldn't come back from. If anything happened to any of them, really. Rose didn't do half-hearted, and she didn't always know when to quit, or stand back. It might have been a painful flaw, but she knew she wasn't about to learn with this family.

Or maybe she would, the hard way. The Doctor glanced back at her, and then went back to whispering. Rose was certain they were trying to protect her. She didn't like it.

"What's the plan?" she asked, sliding off her bed, and hurrying over.

The Doctor looked at her, and she paused. He looked so tired. So scared, and so tired, and she realized that no matter the next words out of his mouth, this plan wasn't going to be ideal.

But she had always jumped in too deep, and she wasn't about to stop now.

"I'm ready," she insisted, and the Doctor leaned over, pulling Shy into his arms.

"I hope so," he said. "Because this won't be easy."


	17. Chapter 17

Gav took a breath, as deep into his lungs as he could pull it, and exhaled once before stepping into the hall. His stomach had clenched itself into such a tight ball, he doubted that it would ever recover should they survive.

Eyes flickering around the hall, up and down, he looked for anything and everything. He didn't know what they were seeking, something dark, something deep. The Doctor's instructions had been simple, really. They were to keep moving, and should the time come when the Doctor handed Shy over to Gav to carry out of here, he was not to argue. He would argue though, promise still fresh on his lips, a lie from the moment he uttered it.

The Doctor moved out behind him, Shy's dead weight in the Doctor's arms-thankfully she was still very much alive. Rose stepped out last, face pale, eyes completing the same steps in the dance he had already finished and began again.

Doors were shifting, though no one seemed inclined to mention it. They were moving, sliding down the hall, some vanishing but returning a moment later- others not returning at all. The air felt wrong, the TARDIS was clearly in distress, and whatever was here hung around them like they were walking through an invisible sludge.

"Let's go,' the Doctor said, his voice so soft, yet it seemed to echo down the halls.

Glancing back behind him one last time, at a blank wall where the med-bay door had been moments before, he shook his head. He could do this, he thought, nodding at Rose and moving forward. His feet seemed to struggle to lift and his hearts thumped in his chest too loudly for anything else to matter.

He knew he was dangerous, really, in his loyalty and his love. Hands that were so young were also willing to do anything to hold his family into the tight circle they had forged, including destroy whatever set out to rip the pieces away from him. Gav had already had enough loss to suit him, and more lingered at the edges of his mind in the foggy bits that he wouldn't look at because peeking at the end, made it possible to change it.

He held himself taller, because he felt so small next to his father. A man who had done nothing more than he had to, who didn't look at the ending to spare himself the middle, and who would bend the universe but never break it. Gav wanted to be like him, but wondered if too much darkness lie in his hearts to ever measure up.

"Gav," the Doctor said, pausing, and shifting Shy in his arms-almost testing her weight. She looked small, pale, farther away than a few feet. In Gav's mind, where she had always had a welcome home, he heard silence. "This isn't going to work."

Gav looked at his father, confusion clouding his thoughts, before he forced himself to focus. His father had been clear, keep moving. If doubt was going to slow them, he would keep them moving.

"It'll work," he said, starting forward again.

Rose stepped around the Doctor, heading after. Gav counted steps, nearly closing his eyes with the force of willing his father to start walking again. Doors flashed in and out of sight, the lights flickered above his head, and his father remained motionless where he had left him.

"Gav," Rose whispered. "We can't just leave him...them behind. We need to at least hear what he has to say."

She was right, of course. Gav owed him that much, even if his mind screamed inside his skull that stopping was everything that was ill advised.

"Fine," Gav said, turning and moving back. "Yeah, alright. Then we'll go."

Rose nodded, moving back alongside him.

"Why?" he demanded of his father. "You said to keep moving, to stop for nothing. So why isn't this going to work?"

He felt guilt at once, at his words. He expected a sharp look from his father, sharper words if they made it out for his tone, but there was no reaction. For a moment, he was certain that his father hadn't even heard him as the older man kept looking down at his daughter, staring as if he was trying to figure out a puzzle, but he didn't have every bit of information that he needed.

"She's hurting," the Doctor said, softly. His eyes flickered up Gav, staring into him, beyond him. "Can't you hear her? We have to save her."

"Shy?" Gav asked, pulling himself closer at once. He looked down at his sister, brushing his fingers over her head. If she was screaming, calling out to them, he would have to hear her. Her mind was silent- far away and Gav looked at the Doctor once more in hope of clarification.

"No," the Doctor said, lowering himself and Shy to the floor. He laid her out, gently, hand on the back of her head so it toughed only softly. There was a stroke of palm over hair, a press of lips to her forehead. It was perfect, but Gav wasn't sure. If something had been inside Shy, swimming in her veins, infecting her mind, how could Gav be so sure it hadn't needed a new host when it had felled her?

"What then?" Gav asked, squatting down beside Shy.

"The TARDIS," the Doctor said, reaching out and yanking him up roughly by his arms. He looked down the short distance between the height of their eyes and Gav had to swallow away a fear from his father that he had never encountered.

"Doctor!" Rose said, stepping in, touching his arms.

The Doctor looked at her hand, and released his grip on Gav at once. He stepped back, but instead of being apologetic he looked determined, fierce. Gav knew the look well, had seen it cross his father's face, until it became his every feature-but never like this, not directed at him.

"We have to save her,' the Doctor said, digging in his pockets and pulling out his sonic. He didn't look down at Shy again, only stepping over her body, and looking back at them. "Gav, see if you can find the console room. If you can, I want you to call out for me. I will find you. Rose, do the same. First one to find it, yell as loud as you can."

"What about...the things?" Rose asked. "Shouldn't we stick together at least?"

"No," the Doctor said. "We're wasting too much time. We need the console room to fix this. If we find it, I can fix everything including...Shy."

The pause was too long. It was an eternity between including and his sister's name. Rose noticed too, but they both remained silent. Gav because he didn't want his father to wind up in a useless puddle next to his sister, and Rose...well, he wasn't sure-maybe she was just scared, he sure was.

"Alright, dad," he said, to the Doctor's retreating back. "You can trust us."

"Are we going to do that?" Rose asked, when he was out of sight.

"Of course not," Gav said, squatting back down.

He brushed his fingers over his sisters head once more. "I'm sorry," he whispered, throwing himself in the direction of her in the distance. Later, he'd worry about the damage he had caused.

DW

Rin wanted to look back, to watch the others follow through with his orders. It would be satisfying, knowing that they were none the wiser as he stretched himself out farther in his host. It was roomier than the last, this body, different in ways he was more familiar with. It was better though, than his. Two hearts beat steadily in his chest, pumping living blood through new veins. He drew in air slowly, filling lungs for the first time in too long, the dates and years eroding away to join the memories of little hands and the sounds of their breathing at night.

He would rip this universe apart piece by piece to pull them out of the incubator, and feel their arms around him again. This ship was a small price to pay, really. It had fought back, harder than he had expected. It had stopped their original plans, forcing him to jump into a body, but they were still going to complete their mission.

Rin turned the Doctor's body, pushing himself farther into the Doctor's brain. The Doctor would lead him along, by choice or by force. He had sent Gav and Rose out, in case they found the ever changing rooms before him, but the Doctor knew. He was drawn to it, and in doing so, he had no choice but to bring Rin along.

The Doctor protested again, Rin's arm jerking before he could catch it. There was rage here, so much rage. At Rin, for occupying the Doctor-for what he had done to the Doctor's daughter. At the universe for what was stolen from the Doctor.

There was also devastation. Something Rin was also too familiar with. Both had lost everything, the difference of course was that the Doctor was lucky, and had gotten some of it back.

Rin stopped, the door in front of him calling out to him. The owner of the body, the Doctor, tried to keep them moving. Rin refused, past the ache he was feeling. The covering of flesh was starting to unnerve him, the hearts carrying that same blood were suddenly thick and overworked. This body was now ancient, the mind doubly so. It was almost enough to make Rin leave, return to his own body and press forward.

NO!

Rin caught the Doctor invading the thoughts, and shoved him away with force. The Doctor had no choice but to retreat. Rin was certain he had not seen the last of him, and made quick work of opening the door to the dark room. The console started to glow as he stepped in, tall and proud, everything he had sought for so long.

Using the Doctor's lungs to pant out breaths, measuring the distance between him and new life, he took steps. It was so close, but too far away, and bumping into it nearly shattered him. Years of hopes and failures had climbed up inside him, building and hardening to this day. He had all but given up, had given up almost everything, but now it was all going to be worth it.

The machine would die a worthy death, the small family inside along with it. Four to save millions, he thought that even they might agree it was justified. Maybe they would have volunteered, had he asked.

Rin smiled sadly at the thought, and closed his eyes, pushing his hands against the console. It was harder in the Doctor's minds, the link to the others faded and dulled, but he called to them all the same. They would come, and their power would open the TARDIS and harness it within themselves.

The sound of footsteps echoed behind him and he snapped his eyes open, turning at the sound before his world faded to black.


	18. A Broken Girl

Shy was scared. She didn't have to say it, but it came through in tight shoulders and a back too straight. The other girl's eyes kept racing around the room, too fast for Rose to imagine keeping up with where they fell.

Gav had muttered something about causing damage to his sisters brain, the muttering a habit he had clearly inherited from his father, but Rose had no idea how that damage would show itself-or if it already had.

"They're coming," Shy said, uncrossing her arms and taking slow steps towards the door.

Gav nodded and slid his arms under his father's shoulders and pulled him up until his upper half was off the floor and he could drag him along with ease. The Doctor's head rolled to the side, and Rose could see the wound where Gav had hit him with a glass bottle. The blood had stopped quickly, leaving only a small puddle on the floor and matting the little hair he did have to his head.

Rose wanted to reach out and wipe it clean, to make sure that the Doctor's body was still safe, with no care for the creature that was wearing it-but she didn't. Shy had advised them, with short words and hushed tones, of the dangers of touching his skin. Rose balled up her fists at her side, and drew in a deep breath instead.

"Come on, Rose," Gav said, muscles tightening in his arms as he started to drag the Doctor out but his face showed no strain in his effort.

The hall was empty, it smelled crisp and of the Earth after a rainstorm instead of the darkness that came in with the winter. The familiar hum of the TARDIS was nearly too faint to be heard, despite the fact that Rose strained to ensure it hadn't faded out all together. If the TARDIS was lost, she knew that they would likely not survive.

"Where are we going to take him?" Rose asked, glancing behind her as the lights flickered above their heads. It was like a bad horror movie, she was now living a bad horror movie. "Gav...what are we going to do?"

"I know a room," Gav said, looking past her as his pale face managed to grow a shade lighter. His forehead wrinkled, and he got the far away expression he often wore he was thinking a bit too hard on something.

The air changed. Coldness rushed over them, a wave that had Rose wanting to reach for a coat that wasn't attainable. She shivered against the feeling, a tightness wrapping around her chest as the lights behind her stopped flickering and were extinguished all together.

"Rose," Gav said, looking her in the eye.

He looked so much like his father in the low light, blue eyes reaching out to her, pulling her in. The same eyes that could promise safety and not yet have a plan on how that might be possible. She trusted the Doctor, and she realized in that moment she trusted Gav just as deeply.

"Gav," she said, looking back at the blackness. It moved, crawling across the floor, forming shapes that almost resembled human before melting into formless beings again. It was an ebb and flow that made her mouth go dry and her hands shake at her side.

"Rose, don't look at that," he said, pausing in his pulling. "We're going to be fine. I know a place, a safe place, but we have to keep moving. I know you can do this."

Her heart was working overtime, gravity in the TARDIS seemed to become force she nearly couldn't overcome as she fought to lift her feet and pull herself in his direction. Fear seemed to be pouring out of her and into the air, only to be returned doubled.

"I can," she repeated. She didn't know if he could hear her, but the words made her feet move a little faster and she repeated them.

He began pulling again, Shy moving around him, and digging in her pocket. Shy seemed so far away, hollow, but she looked at Rose and pulled out the sonic and for a moment she was the same loving, compassionate person Rose had come to know.

"Duck, Rose," Shy said, raising the sonic the Doctor had made her and pushing the button with sure fingers.

Rose ducked, and hurried over to Gav's side, though he didn't stop moving.

Rose would never forget the shrieking noise the shapeless beings produced. Her hands rose to her ears, pressing palms over them in attempt to block out the noise. For a moment, a small moment, she felt guilt for bearing witness to what was obvious misery.

Shy didn't retreat, arm held strong, green light at the end of a silver sonic screwdriver never wavering as the noise continued. It should have seemed cruel to Rose, but it only seemed brave at that moment. For a moment, nothing happened, aside from Rose's heartbeat beneath her palms, echoing around in her eardrums. Then, though, the darkness faded, fog rolling away from her again.

"Come, Shy!" Gav said, as light weaved its way back into where it had been forced out moments before.

Shy lowered her arms, turning to them. Her eyes had never seemed so dark, the life in her so far away but still she moved back towards them. Rose was terrified, of what might be wrong with Shy, of how they were going to survive in a TARDIS full of enemies.

She kept pace with Gav though, and kept a watchful eye around them. They might have won for the moment, but she was certain that this fight was far from over.

DW

Rin knew pain. He had suffered it in bits and pieces that had been manageable, and in avalanches of emotions and physical pain that all he could do was hold on and hope to ride out. This fell in between.

He was tied to his chair, the rope a bit too tight. It was digging into his borrowed skin, and he was nothing more than the body he was wearing when it came to his strength.

That wasn't the worst part though. He was cut off, no matter how hard he tried to reach out beyond these walls he couldn't connect with his people. He could still feel them, wispy and far away, but he couldn't speak to them.

When Rin had first opened his eyes, blinking in the brightness, taking in the eyes that stared at him, he had thought it was the Doctor who did this. Or perhaps one of his children, or the woman he was very, very fond of though he didn't speak the words.

It wasn't them though. It was this room. It blocked them out, kept him in this body so he couldn't flee. The others must be near, but so far they hadn't managed to rescue him.

He shifted in his chair, the wound on his head aching fiercely and the pain that came with wearing a borrowed body for too long had set in quite a while before he had awoken.

His mouth was dry, arms stretched behind him, muscles feeling pinched when they were pushed beyond where was comfortable, and he was forced to watch three little people try to come up with a plan to destroy him. Rin wasn't having a day he wished to repeat, but if he made it out in the end it would be worth all of this misery and humiliation.

"I can make him talk," a girl said.

Rin studied the girl, hurrying to pull up memories from files in this mind that didn't belong to him. He was having to relearn after the blow to his head, after blacking out, the memories still fuzzy patches he couldn't access. The Doctor didn't seem to try to stop him, but Rin could still feel him there-probably biding his time.

Shy. Her name was Shy. She had come a long way from curls and tiny outfits, but the Doctor struggled to see her as the woman before him.

"No," the boy said, looking at her carefully. Gav, his name was Gav.

Shy was pale, circles under her eyes seeming to grow by the moment. Her breathing was raspy, and quick and the more he noticed these signs the more the Doctor seemed to stir within him.

"Shy!" he said, though it wasn't Rin in control now. The Doctor pushed him back for a moment and he struggled to regain his control on this body, on the person inside. "Gav, you have to help her!"

Rin was stronger though, lots of practice really, lifetimes in fact. And he would do anything to hold his children again, just as the Doctor was trying to do everything he could to save his own. For a moment, Rin considered letting them go. They could all walk away, without the machine, without his power source. But he couldn't do that. They couldn't go on, chasing him to the ends of the universe while he tried to live a quiet life. They would all have to die.

Shy coughed, and stepped closer, looking at him, and then behind him.

"Shy, "Gav said, softly. His voice was gentle, his hand gentler as it reached out for his sister who was looking more than a little lost at the moment.

Rin felt real fear, for the first time since he had stepped on this ship. He had left her broken, and he was afraid that she might explode and take him down with her.


End file.
